Date: February 09, 2009 5:13 am Title: Chapter 4
Nice cliffhanger! Very episodic. :)
I loved everything about this, by the way.
Date: January 23, 2009 11:25 am Title: Chapter 4
“Shawn, you solve those cases because you like puzzles. You don’t solve them for the victims.” I love this. I've never really thought about it, but as much as Shawn cares about the people, he kinda does do it more for the puzzle. It reminds me of the puzzle solvers line from Henry in Lassie Did a Very Bad Thing, like puzzle solving runs in his blood, and it’s just what he does. You've given me some great new insight on the motivations behind Shawn's puzzle solving, thanks so much! I love that moment where Shawn is worried because his dad hasn't called him in a few days. I was like AWW YOU LOVE YOUR DADDY!! and it's so cute. I love the 'neglected' line, I thought it was PERFECT. And then Gus chooses not to argue even though he knows that Shawn has felt neglected. I love that Shawn can't admit it either, or doesn't even realize it. That line just has so much behind it! It could be about the divorce, Henry, or Gus, or all of them! GAH, AMAZING moment between Shawn and Gus (and Henry, though he was the one being spied on ;D) LOVE IT! <3 AND I NEED TO KNOW WHO HENRY IS TALKING TO! Jules's 'ninja voodoo mind control' had me ROLLING, hilarious. I think my favorite part of this chapter was Lassie and Shawn BONDING. ROFL! I love that they agree over the movie and when Lassie suggested drinks I just about DIED. AWESOMELY AMAZING SCENE BEWEEN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <333333333Also, though he wasn’t entirely ready to admit it to himself, he got a little paranoid whenever Gus stomped off in a huff, worrying each time that he wouldn’t be coming back. I love this (well, let's face it, I loved everything in this fic, but posting it all in a review would be hard). I love how you bring back that yes, Gus leaving did affect him, and now that he realizes how much he needs Gus, and that he's afraid of him leaving again, and he's annoyed at himself for being so needy. LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH!!! DUDE YOU BROUGHT BACK THE CALVES! XDDDDDDDDDD I love how Shawn asks Henry about it too! LOLOLOLOLOLOL LOVE IT. And I LOVE Shawn's reaction when Natalie plants the idea in his head that his dad might be getting remarried. He's like OMGWTF NO WAY! XDDDDDDDDD I love how the idea never really occurred to him that his dad could get remarried, and now that he's thinking about it he feels scared of it. OMG LOVE YOU FOR THAT MOMENT!!!!! <3And you brought back the jelly donut from the commercial...dude, I love you. ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL SO FUNNY! XDDDDDDDD“Not quite, but it is pretty good.” This is my favorite line of the chapter! I love how Shawn notices that the blood didn't quite match up, that’s SUCH a great example of Shawn’s skills on auto-pilot. I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH AND I LOVE YOU AND THIS IS AWESOME!I love how you built up to finding Vern's body with the fake blood, that was really dramatic and AWESOME. I love the screaming too ROFL. And Shawn saving Eliza had me on the edge of my seat! It was a fantastic ending to the first part and I love it. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE TIMES INFINITY THIS FIC! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SECOND PART! <333333333333333333333333333333333 =D
Date: January 22, 2009 1:06 am Title: Chapter 4
I always need a bit of time to process your chapters for review :D
Okay, the ice cream moment really made me smile- I totally loved that! As well as the discussion of insensitivity in light of this new plight (rhyme so not intended). I mean, Gus is berating Shawn, yet both of them are enjoying snacks like it's just another day lol!
“Shawn! My ice cream!”
Gus punched him, hard, in the shoulder and Shawn stifled a yelp, flapping his hand in Gus’ face. “Shhh!”
Gus is my hero lol! His violent outbursts against his friend are truly to be admired. And he really is rough- even when they aren't arguing (remembers the soap opera episode when Gus smacked Shawn in the chest- "Dude! That's too hard!" - and Gus was HAPPY that time lolol!)
Gus, finally taking a grudging interest in what was going on across the street, whispered, “You’re really messed up, you know that?”
“He made me this way,” Shawn retorted,
ROFL! Yes, it always comes back to being Henry's fault. But dating a prostitute? LOL! Henry, for shame!!
I feel Lassy's pain with the whole sitting in the van with fangirling menz lolol!!
Gus grinned and, with a little hand wave, gestured for a hug. She complied with a freakish amount of enthusiasm and Shawn shot a narrow look over her shoulder at Gus’ smug expression. When she finally released him, eyes fixed on the pictures and their accompanying signatures, Gus buffed his nails lightly on his shirt. “Just doing what I can for a friend."
This part is magical deliciousness on levels so far beyond levels that I can't even tell you lol!!! Shawn is sooo jealous right now! As well, the whole scenerio with Lassiter realizing he and Shwan are bonded in their dislike over the movie is glorious!! I laughed repeatedly at that!!
“Drinks?” he suggested, though the word came out like poison dripping from his tongue.
“The sooner the better,” Shawn muttered
Shawn mocking Gus's "rose" breath is very funny, as well as containing a spectacular angst later on when he muses nerviously on their post-argument life. LOVE IT!
The continued suspicion of Henry makes me very happy- and I'm giggling at the idea of Shawn following him around covertly. I also adore the next part with the fake blood/real blood and the jelly licking discussion leading up to the horrific discovery which then leads to OMG FIRE WHUMP YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You may have noticed I'm quite excited by that, and also quite frantic to see what happens next! XD
Date: January 21, 2009 6:01 pm Title: Chapter 4
Oh Jen! How do i love thee? You have covered Shawn's fear of Henry's suspected love life so perfectly! I can see the look of horror and disgust on his face and it is suhweet! Juliet and Sanchez fangirling? To die for! Lassiter and Shawn bonding over mutual movie disgust? Even sweeter! I cant' keep up listing all my favorite parts because its all so ridiculously wonderful! The dialogue, the description, Gus' calves. It's priceless! Girly screams covered up by manly misdirection is pure genius and I love you for it. And poor Vern Woo...I do hope someone brings his killer to justice. Hopefully, those someone's will have either girly screams and/or great calves to boot! You have done an excellent job with this fic. I've thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. I can't wait until part two to see how this mystery continues to play out.
Oh Jen! How do i love thee?
You have covered Shawn's fear of Henry's suspected love life so perfectly! I can see the look of horror and disgust on his face and it is suhweet!
Juliet and Sanchez fangirling? To die for!
Lassiter and Shawn bonding over mutual movie disgust? Even sweeter!
I cant' keep up listing all my favorite parts because its all so ridiculously wonderful! The dialogue, the description, Gus' calves. It's priceless! Girly screams covered up by manly misdirection is pure genius and I love you for it.
And poor Vern Woo...I do hope someone brings his killer to justice. Hopefully, those someone's will have either girly screams and/or great calves to boot!
You have done an excellent job with this fic. I've thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. I can't wait until part two to see how this mystery continues to play out.
Date: January 20, 2009 5:05 pm Title: Chapter 4
Ack XD! Shawn the hero again =P awesome! And whats going on with Henry XD
Great chapter! I love how the grips thought they heard women screaming XD that sooooo needs to happen in the show!
Now im ready for part 2!!!! XD Thanks for the update!!!
Lots o' love!
Date: January 20, 2009 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 4
Holy craaaaaap, Jenn! It's so unfair that we never find out what happened. Now I'm all anxious to see where this is heading!
My favorite bits (there are MANY, but those that stand out):
"He made me this way." That line just stood out in such a big way to me. I don't think we've ever actually heard him say it, but that line was just utter genius in it's harsh truth.
Oh and... As and aside: Rolling his eyes, Gus replied, “Your age limit for dating is a range between twenty-two and thirty-eight, Shawn. You could date almost anybody.” *raises hand* I fall between that range. May I please have this date? :P
*cough* Right.. back to your regularly scheduled programming:
Shawn groaned, putting his head in his hands. “Oh my god, my dad is dating a prostitute.” This line made me spit all over my screen because while that's where it was leading the way he said it, and the way it came out was so funny.
And Shawn being jealous of Gus and his hug with Juliet. Awww. :P
"Also, though he wasn’t entirely ready to admit it to himself, he got a little paranoid whenever Gus stomped off in a huff, worrying each time that he wouldn’t be coming back. One fight and suddenly it was like he was wandering around in a minefield." That made me awwww out loud. I'm absolutely loving the Shawn character development that's going on here, especially in relation to Gus.
You had Gus say "fangirlin."! Awesome.
And lastly, the part with the blood was completely gross. And the end was absolutely terrifying. I'm ridiculously scared of fires, and I could picture the whole thing so vividly in my mind.
GREAT GREAT GREAT JOB, Jenn. And NOW YOU'RE DONE! *congas* WELL DONE! *hugs*
Date: January 20, 2009 10:08 am Title: Chapter 4
Nice touch here - “he’d been checking his phone almost without thinking the last few days, expecting to find a missed call from him, but there’d been nothing.”
LOL!!!! – Rolling his eyes, Gus replied, “Your age limit for dating is a range between twenty-two and thirty-eight, Shawn. You could date almost anybody.”
“Oh my god, my dad is dating a prostitute.” - OMG – poor Shawn!!!!
Watching Lassiter go insane is just too much fun!
This had me laughing so hard!!! - “I’m not going to go down to the station with you so you can flirt with Jules, Gus,”
Shawn and Lassiter!! Agreeing!!!
Awww – Shawn is thinking before he speaks. “One fight and suddenly it was like he was wandering around in a minefield.”
This is great!! - “The corner of his mouth curled up into a grin, triumphant. He never got tired of that.”
Stepmother?!!! Shawn is going to freak out over that idea!
This is SO Shawn!! And a nice call-back to the commercial!! - "I can't leave jelly on my arm Gus! The jelly wants to be eaten, it's calling to my stomach." He dropped his voice to imitate the jelly, "Stomaaach! Eat me, I'm delicious!" – And I so love how you had them bickering about it before they find the body!!
Excellent!!! Hilarious, great subplots, wonderful (wonderful!) banter – and you have me so excited to see how this ends!! GREAT JOB!!!!
Date: January 16, 2009 6:25 pm Title: Chapter 3
And the lights flashed more than ever. LMAO!!!! This gives me such a great visual image. I love how vulnerable Eliza is in the beginning, and her reluctance to leave Shawn until he calms her down. I think that's a really sweet moment between them.
OMG his vision! It was so so so so funny, I was laughing the whole time while reading! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL So Psych-like too. And then this piece of *GOLD*: Shawn shot a "Really? You’re going with ‘the pillar’?" look at the reporter, who blushed as all eyes turned to look at him. ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL HAHAHAHA!!! Now to swoop in for the kill. This is so great, it's like he has the visions down to an art. LOL And Gus is just like "kill me" when Shawn asks him to do the vision, that is hilarious. I just about died when the audience (and the police station) got so involved in the vision, and got really excited about it. It's awesome how easy it is for these characters to get sucked into Shawn's little world. XD And, then of course there is the awesomeness of what I am calling The Dramaticly Prolonged Fake Death of Doom. !!! XDDDDDD ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL That reminds me so much of the Spellingg Bee moment where Shawn pretends a spirit is choking him, and it's the best visual image EVER!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yet another camera flashed at that exact moment, capturing forever the smugly delighted expression on Shawn's face as he beamed to his adoring public, and the disgruntled scowl firmly affixed to Gus' face as he glared at his incorrigible partner. LMAO!!!! Again, great visual image, so funny. I didn't realize how many hilarious moments were in this vision until I started writing them all. XD Great job on it.
He hadn't even gotten upper-case mad yet! LOL! I really love that whole moment with Lassie at the SBPD and seeing Shawn on the TV and his converastion with Jules. So Psych-like! Jenn...you...astound me. XD
it was his habit to never be completely shirtless. *shakes fist at the sky* Curse you Spencer! XD
"How’s that for productive, buddy? Two jobs at the same time." ROFL! And Gus is like "wow, 2 jobs, I wonder what that would be like *glare*" LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO I love how Shawn is completely ignorant of Gus's other job. XD
Shawn scoffed. "You won’t lick—" Gus’ tongue flicked out, swiping up his cheek. Shawn immediately freaked out, jerking back out of Gus’ personal space, hands flying up to scrub at his face. "YOU LICKED ME!" ...Oh. My. God. I literally rofled here. I seriously couldn't read any farther for minutes, that's how hard I was laughing! THAT LICK OMG *DIES TEN BILLION TIMES* I love you so much for that. XDDDDDDD
The statement snapped Shawn out of an imagined scene that involved the Roman coliseum and giant attacking bottles of milk with Richard fronting the attack, 300 style. LMAO! Stop killing me with all this great banter! XP The ewokarriors thing was absolute genius too, and I love the idea of them going off into an imaginary world when they were kids, and playing in it, and even 20 years later it's still real to them. SO CUTE! Amazing ending, love the drama, and can't WAIT for more.
Also, I forgot to say in my earlier review, but I'm really curious to see what the Henry thing is about, and the fact that I forgot says how nicely it blended in with everything else. Can't wait to see what happens there! And uh, sorry for the super long reviews, but there are so many lines I cling too! *blush* Love it Jenn! <3
Date: January 16, 2009 5:51 pm Title: Chapter 2
OMG LOVE YOUR VS LIKE WOAHS!
I love Lassie's whole scene in the beginning, it was wonderfully written and shows how much pressure he's always under. Love seeing that moment of vulnerability with him.
Lassiter didn't change direction to walk towards her, as he was no rookie after all, but he turned in her direction and waited until she had caught up with him. May I point out that this line is so awesome? Cuz it is! I can totally picture that in my mind, and I think it says a lot about Lassie's personality, or at least his place in the department, that he doesn't just walk to the Chief and instead waits for her.
Lassiter wasn’t entirely sure why she felt the need to remind him of something that she herself stated she didn’t need to remind him of. LOL!!! This line is SO much like the show and their need to nitpick little sayings and such, and I LOVE that Lassie thinks that. And I love that, even though the Chief doesn't realize it, she's adding to his stress. *huggles Lassie* Poor Lassie is having such a bad day, but I love it when he angsts.
With a weary sigh, Lassiter scrubbed a hand down the side of his face and opened the door, offering a silent prayer that he would not get himself thrown in a jail cell by the end of the day. Oh my gosh! ROFLROFLROFL Oh man, this line is TOO good. And what's sad is that I can totally imagine it happening. XDDDDDDDDDDD
His partner-in-solving-crime set back to work, eyebrows slanted in determination across his forehead. Crime, solving crime, all in a day's work at Psych. ;) Love that little addtion there. The serious moment between Henry and Shawn was PERFECT, and you got the emotions of it awesome-ly. And then you transitioned from the serious moment into the humor with the perfect line: "He's really creeper sometimes." XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Also, Shawn's total lack of knowledge about film production, compared to Gus's so-accurate-it's-scary knowledge is AMAZING. *dies*
His partner was engaging in friendly gossip with their suspect; a man being held because of his involvement with a dangerous gang suspected of operating one of the biggest and most deadly drug rings in Santa Barbara. HAHAHAHAHAHAA! This is so much like Juliet that she would bond with a criminal, and so hilarious! *giggle fit* <3 And Lassie's just like *facepalm*, soooooooo great.
"That hurts." He put his hand over Gus's heart. "Right here." Okay, this my my favorite line of the chapter. It's SOOO freakin funny, and so Psych-like. You write such great banter Jenn! I'm dizzy from laughing so hard! I love that Shawn knows how long Gus has been waiting for him down to the second, that's so funny, and it's cool how he remembers the exact date, time, etc that Gus was like OMGMOVIE! XD
Aristocats reference, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was laughing like a maniac when I read this! FTW! <3
"Almost positive isn't totally positive," Shawn pointed out helpfully. This line basically sums up Psych in a few words, and I LOVE it! That's like Shawn's policy, people might almost positive he's lying all the time, but as long as they don't know, what the hell? I luvs it to pieces, because I read so much into it.
OMG SHAWN BEING ALL HOT AND HEROIC AND NOTICING THE PILLAR AND DIVING TOWARDS ELIZA AND (probably) SAVING HER AND PROBABLY GETTING HURT AND-*DIES* Most dramatic awesome ending EVER! LOVING the VS, Jenn, fantastic job. <3