Date: January 16, 2009 8:25 pm Title: Chapter 3
And the lights flashed more than ever. LMAO!!!! This gives me such a great visual image. I love how vulnerable Eliza is in the beginning, and her reluctance to leave Shawn until he calms her down. I think that's a really sweet moment between them.
OMG his vision! It was so so so so funny, I was laughing the whole time while reading! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL So Psych-like too. And then this piece of *GOLD*: Shawn shot a "Really? You’re going with ‘the pillar’?" look at the reporter, who blushed as all eyes turned to look at him. ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL HAHAHAHA!!! Now to swoop in for the kill. This is so great, it's like he has the visions down to an art. LOL And Gus is just like "kill me" when Shawn asks him to do the vision, that is hilarious. I just about died when the audience (and the police station) got so involved in the vision, and got really excited about it. It's awesome how easy it is for these characters to get sucked into Shawn's little world. XD And, then of course there is the awesomeness of what I am calling The Dramaticly Prolonged Fake Death of Doom. !!! XDDDDDD ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL That reminds me so much of the Spellingg Bee moment where Shawn pretends a spirit is choking him, and it's the best visual image EVER!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yet another camera flashed at that exact moment, capturing forever the smugly delighted expression on Shawn's face as he beamed to his adoring public, and the disgruntled scowl firmly affixed to Gus' face as he glared at his incorrigible partner. LMAO!!!! Again, great visual image, so funny. I didn't realize how many hilarious moments were in this vision until I started writing them all. XD Great job on it.
He hadn't even gotten upper-case mad yet! LOL! I really love that whole moment with Lassie at the SBPD and seeing Shawn on the TV and his converastion with Jules. So Psych-like! Jenn...you...astound me. XD
it was his habit to never be completely shirtless. *shakes fist at the sky* Curse you Spencer! XD
"How’s that for productive, buddy? Two jobs at the same time." ROFL! And Gus is like "wow, 2 jobs, I wonder what that would be like *glare*" LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO I love how Shawn is completely ignorant of Gus's other job. XD
Shawn scoffed. "You won’t lick—" Gus’ tongue flicked out, swiping up his cheek. Shawn immediately freaked out, jerking back out of Gus’ personal space, hands flying up to scrub at his face. "YOU LICKED ME!" ...Oh. My. God. I literally rofled here. I seriously couldn't read any farther for minutes, that's how hard I was laughing! THAT LICK OMG *DIES TEN BILLION TIMES* I love you so much for that. XDDDDDDD
The statement snapped Shawn out of an imagined scene that involved the Roman coliseum and giant attacking bottles of milk with Richard fronting the attack, 300 style. LMAO! Stop killing me with all this great banter! XP The ewokarriors thing was absolute genius too, and I love the idea of them going off into an imaginary world when they were kids, and playing in it, and even 20 years later it's still real to them. SO CUTE! Amazing ending, love the drama, and can't WAIT for more.
Also, I forgot to say in my earlier review, but I'm really curious to see what the Henry thing is about, and the fact that I forgot says how nicely it blended in with everything else. Can't wait to see what happens there! And uh, sorry for the super long reviews, but there are so many lines I cling too! *blush* Love it Jenn! <3
Date: January 16, 2009 12:55 am Title: Chapter 3
In Awesomeville, this is what we call PINEAPPLE HEAVEN! A lot of LOL here and Awesomeness all around!
Shawn was hot—although the first sentence meant something completely different, THAT HE IS…*bobbing my eyebrows in an if-you-catch-my-drift manner* tee hee! XD I’m soooo giddy—why am I so giddy?! This must be a Psychfic-crush I’m feeling! Which is to be expected, after all I’ve nothing but pure and unadulterated love for this fic…
There’s WHUMP—albeit not enough to send Shawn to the hospital, it was enough to make Gus worry which was enough to make me go eeeeeeeppp!
"I’m just going to lift you a little, okay? Does anything hurt?" he asked calmly, finally upright. Oh right, Shawn, we all know your sweet but please don’t be too kind on her. Or Eliza would never remove her claws off of you! And Eliza, loose the grip, you’re gonna amputate the guy, if that happens, she’s gonna have to face the wrath of a certain person writing this review or of a blonde junior detective—Oohh! Speaking of which, will there be a Jules-Eliza scene? A little cat fight maybe? *evil grin*
The press people (press and people?) loves Shawn and vice versa. Dude, he’s just milking it! Shawn is a drama king—in this chapter even more so! ADORABLE! I love how annoyed Gus was, how hard he was trying not to play along! That’s it, Shawn thought, and he mouthed Tenth grade. At Gus’ suspicious look, he continued, miming the swishy, feminine walk of a girl. Stopping abruptly, he flexed his bicep and pointed with a fierce look in Gus’ direction. HAHA. Can you say soooo Psych-like!
The charade cracked me up like a bad back! What's with these people? The producer smiled brightly, receiving a pat on the back from the set designer and a few muttered "good job"s from the people around her. So funny, I tell yah. And man, their guessing even at the precinct. Kudos for Lassie’s very in-character’s "Slacking on the— Oh, hell no," I could see his face oh-so clearly! And Jules just ROCKED for “bonding” with the dude Sanchez! I love the little Shules moment there—and THEN GUS JUST GOTTA LICK SHAWN…disgusting…and my tongue’s a bit jealous—okay, don’t judge me, I’m weak! The newspaper scene’s hilarious—and “typical”—I hear you, Gus a.k.a Crabapple Winston Churchill a.k.a. Chill!
Then, I thought finally, at the makeup scene, I’m getting a half-naked Shawn but noooo, Jenn giveth. Jenn taketh.
Henry’s a no show but that’s alright; we already have a lot brewing— especially now after the third attack. So the plot thickens, Dr. Watson! And if I may say so, this fic is molding into a very fine mystery, where the readers could guess, deduct alongside the characters along the way. We're meeting all the players now...
Jules and Lassies’ drug thing’s connected to the movie, right? And everything is more than what it seemed…I think.
And Jenn, I bow to your writing skills especially your describing ability —I kid you not! What else can I say? This Chappie is fun, fun, fun and I just love, love, love it—from start to the cliff I hang! *Gasping for another chapter*
Thank you!:-P
Date: January 15, 2009 11:22 pm Title: Chapter 3
*shakes fist at the heavens*
Curse you - all who reviewed before me and took all the good stuff I was thinkin'!!!!!
They missed the most awesome part....
The part of been waiting for for ever so long....
The sweetness that is Syd!!!
Dude, it was soooo worth the wait. You are rocking this story - for all of the reasons the others have said and then some! I'm looking foward to Friday and I'm even more excited and anxious than I was before.
Another WooHoo for whumpage!
Date: January 15, 2009 8:59 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oooooooooowww!!! Poor Gertie and Drew!! sadness =( Great chapter!!!! I love the idea of shawn and gus in wound make-up and going into the station XD so great! Love it!
Thanks sooo much for the update! Look forward to the next!
Tippy
[Report This]Date: January 15, 2009 3:18 pm Title: Chapter 3
Shawn was hot.
Dude, he still is LOL XD!
The rescue was wonderfully played out, and I deeply enjoyed both Shawn's concern as well as his slight aversion to Miss Clingy and her octupus arms lol! And the arm whump, of course, was spectacular! I love how he's been moderately damaged one way or another throughout the VS LOL!
That’s it, Shawn thought, and he mouthed Tenth grade. At Gus’ suspicious look, he continued, miming the swishy, feminine walk of a girl. Stopping abruptly, he flexed his bicep and pointed with a fierce look in Gus’ direction.
Love the implications! LOL! And I adore the covert threats and conversation between the two of them during the vision. And slappy fight? DUDE! That right there is the best of everything!! Also, the fact that he manipulated not onlt the surrounding crowd, but the SBPD watching from the station to join in his charades (and they so failed at that no less lol!) was golden!
Crabapple Winston Churchill
Excellent Gus title! (call him 'Chill' = perfect!)
You did a wonderful job with the whole scene of Lassiter walking back into the station to be met with even more insanity than before- the way the scene came together had a beautiful flow to it, and allowed all the elements to develop just like an episode to the point it felt like the camera was following him into the station. And how can you not love that O'Hara cracked Sanchez via nerd bonding!? Awesomeness!!!
"Fear doesn't always work." She shrugged off-handedly. "Sometimes, you have to bond."
That was so perfectly an O'Hara thing to say, I can totally see it!!
"Gus, this is awesome! There's an advertisement for pineapple trees! Let's go get some. We could start our own orchard."
I don't wanna do it!! I don't I don't I don't- it's totally against my nature!! But Gus is making me!! Gaaaa!!!!!! (okay- the only ONLY time I will ever say anything that is less than a good comment because I HATE nitpicking to like, HUGE degrees!) K. Here I go (cringe) Urm... pineapples grow on bushes, not trees... XD GAH! Okay, breathing again. Alright, I'm done *DED*
"Don't be a non-rhyming delineated poem, give me that back!"
I love his various "don't be like a..." comments lol! This one was, again, hilarious! And the randomness is what makes it so great!
And of COURSE Shawn would wrangle a 'featured extra' title (And it was soooo sweet that he hooked Gus up too! I adore him for that!)
Shawn had taken the Vaseline rub-down better than Gus, rolling his eyes at Gus while his makeup artist efficiently coated his thighs and calves with Vaseline.
*swallows* *eyes go blank and a bit starry* *forgets what she is doing and is having a little bit of trouble simply breathing*
Oh God. Oh God in heaven.
*melts*
This, too, Shawn had apparently expected as he wore a wife beater beneath his shirt: it was his habit to never be completely shirtless.
Dammit! LOL!!!!
The scene with Juliet poking at Shawn's bloody parts was spectacular! I laughed very loudly at that point! He cannot overcome his need to be that kid that pulls hair and chases girls with frogs lolol! And the best part was when she prodded his actual booboo XDXDXD!!!!
licking Gus = WIN!!
Shawn screwing up his lines was classic, and again, so typical of Shawn! Photographic memoty and doesn't miss details- when he chooses to actually pay attention to them! I can see whyy his father lives in a constant state of facepalm. You just want to smack the guy in the back of the head at times!
Ya! PA #5 has a name!!
And props on the wonderful cliffhanger!! I loved the build-up to that because I did NOT see that coming!! That was just so well done!! Again, brilliant chapter! Friday is going to rock hard!
Date: January 15, 2009 7:21 am Title: Chapter 3
Jeeeeennnnnnn!!!! *flails* I know you've worked ridiculously hard on this, but hon, it's SO paying off. Oh my God. Where do I even begin?
First of all, Gus's brotherly concern. It's just so great to see Shawn have that insight. Because aaaah. The boooys <3
With a grin, he winked at Gus, who immediately started to brew with that angry, don’t-wink-at-me-Shawn-I-told-you-never-to-wink-at-me face. *lol* Absolutely priceless. And I can very much picture Gus's face here!
The whole vision is hilarious! I'm guessing this is the part you mentioned to me, and I don't think it's unnecessary at all! I love the whole thing. Shawn's spotlight, Gus's tortured expressions, and the people at the station yelling at the TV. You did the whole scene SO well!
And Lassiter. Oh, poor Lassiter! It has to bad when he's considering law *ggls*
Buzz nodded enthusiastically, pointing to the TV. "Shawn's been struck dumb by a spirit!"
Lassiter snorted. "The spirits can’t be blamed for that." That line made me snort out loud. It's so perfectly Lassiter!
"Shawn grinned. Despite the fact that he always seemed irrepressibly gleeful, the times Shawn actually smiled were few and far between – typically instead he smirked, or pouted, contorted his face comically." Dude, I've actually been thinking about this lately! And it's so true! He doesn't smile very much, at least no honest-to-God this-is-a-smile-not-a-smirk smiling! He does a lot pouty smiles, smirky smiles etc etc, but very few real smiles. Ok.. I'll stop ranting about that. Just thought it was a great line!
JENNNNN!! The make-up scene. Oh my God. I'm DYING from laughter. "This, too, Shawn had apparently expected as he wore a wife beater beneath his shirt: it was his habit to never be completely shirtless." OH MY GOD. That's me, DEAD. Gah, I love you! *continues to laugh*
Shawn scoffed. "You won’t lick—" Gus’ tongue flicked out, swiping up his cheek. Shawn immediately freaked out, jerking back out of Gus’ personal space, hands flying up to scrub at his face. "YOU LICKED ME!" GENIUS! ABSOLUTELY GENIUS!
And the ending, too. Oh, Jenn! I know you're going crazy over this, but let me just say that it is SO GOOD. I've told you before how much I love your Shawn/Gus interactions, but this just confirms it, to me. You really are the queen of all things Shawn/Gus banter. And now you only have one more chapter! And yeah, just... gah. I love it! The whole thing! <3333
Author's Response:
you're the sweetest mia ever *squish*
but I cannot take full credit for all those lines, as I started dealing out responsibility to the other VS authors who seriously saved my behind on this one. I would express what I wanted in a scene, shout out some crack dialogue, and they would make it golden.
thank you for understanding the amount of teamwork that goes into this and how time consuming it is, and for being such an awesome cheerleader. *hugs*