Date: February 09, 2009 7:13 am Title: Chapter 4
Nice cliffhanger! Very episodic. :)
I loved everything about this, by the way.
Date: January 23, 2009 1:25 pm Title: Chapter 4
“Shawn, you solve those cases because you like puzzles. You don’t solve them for the victims.” I love this. I've never really thought about it, but as much as Shawn cares about the people, he kinda does do it more for the puzzle. It reminds me of the puzzle solvers line from Henry in Lassie Did a Very Bad Thing, like puzzle solving runs in his blood, and it’s just what he does. You've given me some great new insight on the motivations behind Shawn's puzzle solving, thanks so much! I love that moment where Shawn is worried because his dad hasn't called him in a few days. I was like AWW YOU LOVE YOUR DADDY!! and it's so cute. I love the 'neglected' line, I thought it was PERFECT. And then Gus chooses not to argue even though he knows that Shawn has felt neglected. I love that Shawn can't admit it either, or doesn't even realize it. That line just has so much behind it! It could be about the divorce, Henry, or Gus, or all of them! GAH, AMAZING moment between Shawn and Gus (and Henry, though he was the one being spied on ;D) LOVE IT! <3 AND I NEED TO KNOW WHO HENRY IS TALKING TO! Jules's 'ninja voodoo mind control' had me ROLLING, hilarious. I think my favorite part of this chapter was Lassie and Shawn BONDING. ROFL! I love that they agree over the movie and when Lassie suggested drinks I just about DIED. AWESOMELY AMAZING SCENE BEWEEN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <333333333Also, though he wasn’t entirely ready to admit it to himself, he got a little paranoid whenever Gus stomped off in a huff, worrying each time that he wouldn’t be coming back. I love this (well, let's face it, I loved everything in this fic, but posting it all in a review would be hard). I love how you bring back that yes, Gus leaving did affect him, and now that he realizes how much he needs Gus, and that he's afraid of him leaving again, and he's annoyed at himself for being so needy. LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH!!! DUDE YOU BROUGHT BACK THE CALVES! XDDDDDDDDDD I love how Shawn asks Henry about it too! LOLOLOLOLOLOL LOVE IT. And I LOVE Shawn's reaction when Natalie plants the idea in his head that his dad might be getting remarried. He's like OMGWTF NO WAY! XDDDDDDDDD I love how the idea never really occurred to him that his dad could get remarried, and now that he's thinking about it he feels scared of it. OMG LOVE YOU FOR THAT MOMENT!!!!! <3And you brought back the jelly donut from the commercial...dude, I love you. ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL SO FUNNY! XDDDDDDDD“Not quite, but it is pretty good.” This is my favorite line of the chapter! I love how Shawn notices that the blood didn't quite match up, that’s SUCH a great example of Shawn’s skills on auto-pilot. I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH AND I LOVE YOU AND THIS IS AWESOME!I love how you built up to finding Vern's body with the fake blood, that was really dramatic and AWESOME. I love the screaming too ROFL. And Shawn saving Eliza had me on the edge of my seat! It was a fantastic ending to the first part and I love it. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE TIMES INFINITY THIS FIC! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SECOND PART! <333333333333333333333333333333333 =D
[Report This]Date: January 22, 2009 3:06 am Title: Chapter 4
I always need a bit of time to process your chapters for review :D
Okay, the ice cream moment really made me smile- I totally loved that! As well as the discussion of insensitivity in light of this new plight (rhyme so not intended). I mean, Gus is berating Shawn, yet both of them are enjoying snacks like it's just another day lol!
“Shawn! My ice cream!”
Gus punched him, hard, in the shoulder and Shawn stifled a yelp, flapping his hand in Gus’ face. “Shhh!”
Gus is my hero lol! His violent outbursts against his friend are truly to be admired. And he really is rough- even when they aren't arguing (remembers the soap opera episode when Gus smacked Shawn in the chest- "Dude! That's too hard!" - and Gus was HAPPY that time lolol!)
Gus, finally taking a grudging interest in what was going on across the street, whispered, “You’re really messed up, you know that?”
“He made me this way,” Shawn retorted,
ROFL! Yes, it always comes back to being Henry's fault. But dating a prostitute? LOL! Henry, for shame!!
I feel Lassy's pain with the whole sitting in the van with fangirling menz lolol!!
Gus grinned and, with a little hand wave, gestured for a hug. She complied with a freakish amount of enthusiasm and Shawn shot a narrow look over her shoulder at Gus’ smug expression. When she finally released him, eyes fixed on the pictures and their accompanying signatures, Gus buffed his nails lightly on his shirt. “Just doing what I can for a friend."
This part is magical deliciousness on levels so far beyond levels that I can't even tell you lol!!! Shawn is sooo jealous right now! As well, the whole scenerio with Lassiter realizing he and Shwan are bonded in their dislike over the movie is glorious!! I laughed repeatedly at that!!
“Drinks?” he suggested, though the word came out like poison dripping from his tongue.
“The sooner the better,” Shawn muttered
*sporfles*
Shawn mocking Gus's "rose" breath is very funny, as well as containing a spectacular angst later on when he muses nerviously on their post-argument life. LOVE IT!
The continued suspicion of Henry makes me very happy- and I'm giggling at the idea of Shawn following him around covertly. I also adore the next part with the fake blood/real blood and the jelly licking discussion leading up to the horrific discovery which then leads to OMG FIRE WHUMP YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ahem*
You may have noticed I'm quite excited by that, and also quite frantic to see what happens next! XD
Date: January 21, 2009 8:01 pm Title: Chapter 4
Oh Jen! How do i love thee? You have covered Shawn's fear of Henry's suspected love life so perfectly! I can see the look of horror and disgust on his face and it is suhweet! Juliet and Sanchez fangirling? To die for! Lassiter and Shawn bonding over mutual movie disgust? Even sweeter! I cant' keep up listing all my favorite parts because its all so ridiculously wonderful! The dialogue, the description, Gus' calves. It's priceless! Girly screams covered up by manly misdirection is pure genius and I love you for it. And poor Vern Woo...I do hope someone brings his killer to justice. Hopefully, those someone's will have either girly screams and/or great calves to boot! You have done an excellent job with this fic. I've thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. I can't wait until part two to see how this mystery continues to play out.
Date: January 20, 2009 7:05 pm Title: Chapter 4
Ack XD! Shawn the hero again =P awesome! And whats going on with Henry XD
Great chapter! I love how the grips thought they heard women screaming XD that sooooo needs to happen in the show!
Now im ready for part 2!!!! XD Thanks for the update!!!
Lots o' love!
Tippy
Date: January 20, 2009 2:53 pm Title: Chapter 4
Holy craaaaaap, Jenn! It's so unfair that we never find out what happened. Now I'm all anxious to see where this is heading!
My favorite bits (there are MANY, but those that stand out):
"He made me this way." That line just stood out in such a big way to me. I don't think we've ever actually heard him say it, but that line was just utter genius in it's harsh truth.
Oh and... As and aside: Rolling his eyes, Gus replied, “Your age limit for dating is a range between twenty-two and thirty-eight, Shawn. You could date almost anybody.” *raises hand* I fall between that range. May I please have this date? :P
*cough* Right.. back to your regularly scheduled programming:
Shawn groaned, putting his head in his hands. “Oh my god, my dad is dating a prostitute.” This line made me spit all over my screen because while that's where it was leading the way he said it, and the way it came out was so funny.
And Shawn being jealous of Gus and his hug with Juliet. Awww. :P
"Also, though he wasn’t entirely ready to admit it to himself, he got a little paranoid whenever Gus stomped off in a huff, worrying each time that he wouldn’t be coming back. One fight and suddenly it was like he was wandering around in a minefield." That made me awwww out loud. I'm absolutely loving the Shawn character development that's going on here, especially in relation to Gus.
You had Gus say "fangirlin."! Awesome.
And lastly, the part with the blood was completely gross. And the end was absolutely terrifying. I'm ridiculously scared of fires, and I could picture the whole thing so vividly in my mind.
GREAT GREAT GREAT JOB, Jenn. And NOW YOU'RE DONE! *congas* WELL DONE! *hugs*
Date: January 20, 2009 12:08 pm Title: Chapter 4
Nice touch here - “he’d been checking his phone almost without thinking the last few days, expecting to find a missed call from him, but there’d been nothing.”
LOL!!!! – Rolling his eyes, Gus replied, “Your age limit for dating is a range between twenty-two and thirty-eight, Shawn. You could date almost anybody.”
“Oh my god, my dad is dating a prostitute.” - OMG – poor Shawn!!!!
Watching Lassiter go insane is just too much fun!
This had me laughing so hard!!! - “I’m not going to go down to the station with you so you can flirt with Jules, Gus,”
Shawn and Lassiter!! Agreeing!!!
Awww – Shawn is thinking before he speaks. “One fight and suddenly it was like he was wandering around in a minefield.”
This is great!! - “The corner of his mouth curled up into a grin, triumphant. He never got tired of that.”
Stepmother?!!! Shawn is going to freak out over that idea!
This is SO Shawn!! And a nice call-back to the commercial!! - "I can't leave jelly on my arm Gus! The jelly wants to be eaten, it's calling to my stomach." He dropped his voice to imitate the jelly, "Stomaaach! Eat me, I'm delicious!" – And I so love how you had them bickering about it before they find the body!!
TWO EXPLOSIONS!!!
Excellent!!! Hilarious, great subplots, wonderful (wonderful!) banter – and you have me so excited to see how this ends!! GREAT JOB!!!!