Date: April 01, 2009 9:37 pm Title: Chapter 6
Oh my goodness, poor Shawn. It was so hard for him to tell David what happened and you showed his emotions so well. Poor guy. *huggles Shawn*
Author's Response: Yeah, poor Shawn! This turned pretty angsty..more so than I originally planned, but I love angst so I didn't care. Thanks for the awesome review!
Date: April 01, 2009 9:34 pm Title: Chapter 5
I really liked how you showed that Shawn felt comfortable enough with Juliet to come to her place at midnight to ask her about advice. And Gus phone call to him was hilarious. I love how you show their relationship, it's so true to character. :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Even though it wasn't my goal to make this a Shules fic, I'm a huge shipper so I had to include just a little! Hahaha. And the Gus phonecall was sooo fun to write :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Date: January 29, 2009 6:46 am Title: Chapter 6
Babe, this is a great story - clever plot, well paced, well thought out... Your characterisation is great, you've brought everyone to life including your original characters. It is a task to find a single aspect of your writing which is not excellent. I am not saying there is no room for improvement - I'm sure there is.. but I sure can't find it!
Now, I read your profile and I see you are 16? Is this correct? Because if you are 16 years old and writing like this, you are truely something.. such an impressive command of the English language! Anyway, I certainly look forward to your next chapter - and your future work :)
Date: January 28, 2009 5:07 pm Title: Chapter 6
I still love how you described the wife and what she went through. And the scene with David hitting Shawn is a very nice touch (if one can say that when it involves a bloody nose!). Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks!! I couldn't write a story without at least a little Shawn whump! Lol. Thanks so much, Mo!