Reviews For Free Play
Reviewer: chels Anonymous [Report This]
Date: August 23, 2009 3:06 am Title: Chapter 2: What The Winner Don't Know, The Gambler Understands

love it! :) next chapter?!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for reading! :) So glad you loved this chapter. I'm working on the next and will try for an update asap. Thanks again!

~silverluna 

Reviewer: EgorStandish Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 23, 2009 2:07 am Title: Chapter 2: What The Winner Don't Know, The Gambler Understands

OMFG! many times over! This is AWESOME! BRILLIANT! AMAZING! Yes, capital letters are required! I need to express how much I love this and yelling seems to be the only way at the moment. Zombie brain won't go into details :)

You've captured Shawn's reactions perfectly here. Reminds me so much of how he was in the ep with Mr Yang! This is the serious Shawn that we see so little of but want to see so much more! The fact that it's two people he cares about being used in the game is just going to make it so much more emotional for him and will also make it so much more enjoyable to read!

This is perfect. The emotional imagery (your discriptions both imager and emotionl and just perfect) - if I can call it that - just tells so much when describing what the characters are going through, especially Shawn. I could see his reactions, his and Vick's. Gus's reactions to Shawn's reactions. And O'Hara's when she woke to find Yang watching her, to feeling her partner's long clammy fingers.

And I love that Shawn thinks of Lassiter and O'Hara as his heroes. I can see that, especially afte the lastest ep. He's going to struggle so much more - knowing that it's Lassiter's and O'Hara's lives on the line.

I'm looking forward to Henry's reaction to Shawn and Yang playing with each other .... if Henry shows up :)

And O'Hara knowing that it was Lassiter by the feel of his long fingers - just awesome.

I can say no more to describe this. Just know, that I absolutely love it!

The teddy bear has been put back into his hiding place, will bring him out again if he's needed for blackmail!

 



Author's Response:

LOL, thanks so much for your awesome review. *Happy dance* :D *major blushing, especially at your requirement of capital letters* :D I'm so, so excited at your enthusiasm at this chapter!!! :) I loved following Shawn through his reaction, with what Vick told him really sinking in. I think that Shawn was surprised at his own reaction, because finding out really forced him to strip away his feelings for Juliet and Lassiter— admitting he views them, somewhat reluctantly sometimes, as his heroes (you are so right!!! :) ) and then forcing him to start to address this stir of feelings for Juliet. You enjoyed Serious! Shawn? :) And really feel that his descriptions here are reminiscent of the "Mr. Yang" episode? *Majoring blushing* :) Thank you! *grins* *blushes* 

Emotional imagery, great phrase! I agree, I think that's an accurate label for ... stuff that I do, lol. ;) I'm so happy you say that you found yourself visualizing everyone's reactions. So true, so true that Shawn is in for a serious struggle and that he can barely handle the fact that he has been thrust into the role of becoming Juliet's and Lassiter's hero and saving their lives for a change. 

Yes, yes, Henry will show up next chapter. :) Shawn finds he needs someone to go to that he can trust... (besides Gus, of course) and finds that he needs Henry's guidance and advice more than ever. 

I'm thrilled you found Juliet's waking to find Yang watching her to be creepy (you did, right? lol). I want to do more exploration with these two characters playing off of each other, especially when it comes to anything regarding Shawn. :D LOL, so glad you liked Juliet's recognizing Lassiter by his fingers. I wasn't sure if that part would come off as too odd or what. I guess it's kind of a funny concept, but it made sense since she can't see him and since she's still kind of disoriented. I'm glad you found it to work well though. *blushing & grins* :D 

Thank you for all your kind praise (I'm glowing like a glittery star because of it!) and wonderful feedback and insights! :) I will work towards a sooner update so Mr. Teddy Bear will remain safe! :D Thanks again!

~silverluna 

Reviewer: chels Anonymous [Report This]
Date: August 19, 2009 9:56 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tried To Move Around The Pain, But Your Soul Is Anchored

come on next chapter! next chapter! :)


Author's Response: LOL, thanks for your review. :) I am working on the next chapter and hope to have it all ready sometime this weekend. :) Thanks so much for reading! ~silverluna

Reviewer: abs Signed [Report This]
Date: August 06, 2009 1:32 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tried To Move Around The Pain, But Your Soul Is Anchored

silverluna! i can't believe i missed this update during finals last week! once again, this story is turning up to be a fantastic ride. i love how even as the narrator, you manage to capture the tone of what is going on the situation: from just an observer as vick takes a look at the crime scene to the demented and crazy air in the yang scenes to catching shawn's panic as he realizes what is going on in the last scene. 

i really liked the way you set up the scene where vick finds the car...i mean lassiter's gun on the tire upside down..seems so strange and yet its strangeness seems to be like it's something that could have happened. and i liked that mary is also turning out to be a bad guy...i  thought he was the real yang when i watched the episde. i also like the characterization you have going here. everyone still keeps their character while reacting exactly how they should within the confines of their situations. 

though i have to admit, i love what you've done with yang. she's crazy and they didn't give her much leeway in her episode to show really why she did. so i feel like you've taken a crazy bad guy and you're setting up motivations and what drives the character (even if it is that she's just crazy.) 

so i'll be waiting with baited breath for the next update to either story! :D 



Author's Response:

:) Thanks soooo much for another of your awesome reviews! :D Always look forward to them! :) Hope your finals went well too (those days, lol, I don't miss them!). So thrilled you enjoyed this chapter and consider it, already, (*major blushing!*) a "fantastic ride." *Grinning* Lol, I would definitely love to achieve that! :) 

I'm happy you like the characters' "slightly different flavors" so far, lol, not finding their reactions too out of character (very yay!). Character exploration is pretty fun and a good challenge: how to make them still seem like themselves in the least expected situation that they thought they'd find themselves in. :) *blushing* I'm glad things are coming across as "that could happen" rather than "THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!!" LOL ;) Oh, and very excited that you mention that I'm (shockingly! lol) able/ capable of "capturing the tone of what is going on in each various situation." Thank you sooooo much! *blushing* :) It used to scare me to even think about attempting a story with multiple characters and various events so that it's all coming together for you makes me really happy. :) Yay, doing something right! lol

*Bouncing* Sooo happy you enjoyed Vick on the scene of the accident and that you mentioned the detail with Lassiter's gun as a "stand out" thing, "strange" yet "it could happen". :D That's... awesome. *blushing* (Thank you!) 

Didn't Mary seem so creepy in the episode?! *wide eyes* It did seem more than plausible that he could really be Mr. Yang, so it feels "right" to push him to the dark side... since it seems that he was already halfway there! He's partially unassuming but he just has a disquietude/ disquietness that just doesn't settle. *shivers thinking about it* lol. 

And thank you thank you thank you! *blushing* "Yang" is turning out to be a fun and disturbing exploration, and I do want to see if she does have motivations for her craziness or if it's just all "home-grown" craziness with nothing underneath! lol ;) :D I kind of visualize her as childlike living in an adult world, but the opposite of Shawn, where he goes with the flow, she goes against it. Well, more stuff to explore! lol. 

I just updated "Hard to Believe" so it's back to working on Chapter Two of this one. Thanks so much for reading and for all your wonderful insights! You rock! :)

~silverluna 

Reviewer: JessiePotter11390 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 02, 2009 2:55 am Title: Chapter 1: Tried To Move Around The Pain, But Your Soul Is Anchored

This is totally brilliant!!  I like your characterization of Yang.  Poor Shawn, he's going to have a tough time, huh?

Author's Response:

*Blushing* Thank you so much for your review. :) I'm happy you are enjoying the story so far. :) Awesome. Yay, you like creepy Yang, lol. You are definitely right, Shawn is in for a tough time... and he's completely unprepared for it. Thanks so much for reading! :)

~silverluna

Reviewer: JR88fan Signed [Report This]
Date: July 30, 2009 1:38 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tried To Move Around The Pain, But Your Soul Is Anchored

Hey, silver - oops, you're absolutely right about O'Hare - O'Hara.  That's what I get for reading your story too fast - I just can't wait to get to the next paragraph and obviously miss a few things here and there.  *slow down, JR, slow down*

Vick was just incredible here.  Just simply incredible.

And holy !@#$ (yeah, swearing already):

"Her favorite colors were the deepest reds— the maroon, almost black, of human blood or roses; scarlet, like a humiliated or fervored blush; crimson like Dorothy's movie shoes— though many would claim these were ruby, she knew that shade was just too light; carmine of dyed poppies; vermilion of corn syrup slasher film kills; sangria wine, sweetest taste on summer days, any bitterness masked by citrus; the Tarocco half-blood orange with its juicy, saucy rose madder glass insides; cardinal like the bird's feathers or cerise of raspberries or bruises.  Her birth name, unlike the one tagged to her when her games first began, was more in the family of purples, though she found herself drawn again and again to the shades of red."  

O.M.G.: "...Mary reasoned, he was not the least bit jealous of Shawn. There was a sliver of sense left that knew, pricking at him every so often like a rose's thorn, that he did not want Yang's dark light of lust-love turned upon him." Just O.M.G.  I have nothing else to say because I just simply can't come up with the words.

"there was the flicker of change in his hazel irises—" Your descriptions are just simply amazing...

Buzz!!  Buzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!  I LOVE YOU BUZZ!!!!

I LOVE how Shawn immediately uttered "Mom" when seeing Yang's note.  And the ending to the chapter ROCKED!  



Author's Response:

JR, hey no problem! Us writers have to stick together and point out typos and other thingys so we can all become better writers! :) Totally appreciate it. It's funny, because my spell checker is always asking if I want to change "O'Hara" to "O'Hare" and I'm always just hitting the skip button. It, of course, didn't ask me about "O'Hare" that time. :) lol. 

:D *Giant grins* You like Vick? Really, really? *shining eyes* :) "Incredible"? *bounces around* :) I'm so happy you liked her and didn't find her too "out of character". it was fun to play with her reaction to just even thinking or wondering that Mr. Yang could have Lassiter and Juliet in her clutches. I think she feels possessive towards them (at least in her reaction) sometimes and that they all have a close bond even if they "must" remain professional about it all times (on the show). But in this case they aren't there and she just finds she has a hard time maintaining her professionalism... then she gets it back. :) Again, so happy you found her "incredible". *Squeeeeee* :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for mentioning the shades of red paragraph!!! *happy* I had some notes & looked up shades of  red on wikipedia and tried to imagine which ones Yang would like best and why. It was a fun exercise that kept expanding, but I guess it came out okay? :) *Yay!* Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. *big grins* :)

Ah, and Mary... that was another exercise in "follow your characters". At first I was thinking that Mary was in love with Yang but then he's "telling" me, "No,  I'm not." Because there's that part of him that's kind of frightened of her still even though she's been built up in his mind as some kind of "idol" that he wants to "worship". For now, he seems satisfied enough working along side her. It might change... lol. I'll have to "ask" Mary what he thinks later. :) lol. Thanks for the OMGs and the swearing! So awesome! :D

Sooooo happy you think my descriptions of stuff are "amazing". Awww.... *blushing* *toothy grins* 

Lol, you like Buzz, you say? lol. There will be more Buzz, and maybe even Buzz whump...? lol ;) And other things, lol. 

*jumps around* Thrilled, thrilled, thrilled you mention the ending with Shawn thinking his mother is the one Yang has. :) And you liked Shawn's start of panic. He may experience a range of emotion in the next chapter, just in Vick's office alone. :) Thanks soooo much for reading and just love your awesome feedback. *Off to write chapter two* :)

~silverluna

Reviewer: EgorStandish Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 30, 2009 8:00 am Title: Chapter 1: Tried To Move Around The Pain, But Your Soul Is Anchored

OMFG! This is beyond excellent. It's tense, scary, creepy. Yes it creeped me out, which is a very good thing. I'm not creeped out very easily, but you have done well young one to creep me out. The description of the scene. The blood, Lassiter and O'Hara's guns and badges ... the cars. I'm almost speechless at the awesomess that is chapter - I'm sure I'm going to repeat this many times :)

You deserve awesomeness + infinity + 1 for the creepiness in this chapter. (there you go, repeated already)

Now, onward. Vick is so awesome in this. I love the way you've written her character. The emotional as she managed to stay in control and do what has to be done. The hope that Lassiter and O'Hara were okay and would show up at any moment so she could yell at them.

Buzz is awesome. I like Buzz, there should be more of Buzz in the show and in fic.

Mary Lightly - creepy beyond words, and so is Mrs/Mr Yang.

Oh, Shawn, I almost feel sorry for him. I know I should, but I'm more worried about Lassiter and O'Hara right now. I'll worry about Shawn later.

This is just beyond awesome. (repeated for a third time)

And just so you know, the weather is nice here, so if streaking down main street is required - well, I won't get cold.

More please, I'm losing patience because this is so good! But please, write it at your own pace .... patience, Egor, patience .....

Beyond awesome. (fourth time repeated)

Shall I say it again .... Beyond awesome.

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for all your awesomeness! :D *blushing & uncontrollable grinning* :) "Beyond excellent", awwww, you are just the sweetest. Thanks for saying such nice stuff about my little story here. :) I so appreciate it! So it creeped you, you the uncreepable! LOL. So happy you liked the description of the crime scene, the eerie atmosphere of all these physical things still lying around but no people when there definitely should be people. ;) 

So cool, you like Vick so far. :) I wonder if I made her too emotional (so far I haven't been yelled at for that so maybe not? lol) but it seemed/ felt "right"  because I think she has a strong bond with Lassiter and Juliet, even if it's kept ultra professional on the show. And she did get very possessive of Shawn in that "There Might Be Blood" episode when her sister wanted him to be *her* psychic, lol. (Not completely the same, I know.) You are right, Vick knows she's got a job to do and does it in her professional manner. She had known of Mr. Yang before the episode and was freaked out when "he" came back, so it seemed natural (to me) that for her to even wonder, let alone believe, that Mr. Yang has taken her detectives is a terrifying thought and for a little while, her brain can't handle it. lol, Human reactions and all. :) I love that you mentioned her desperate hope of Lassiter & Juliet showing up! She wants that relief that they are okay and I think her anger towards them if they did show up would probably be out of worry first before she launched into anything about them being irresponsible or whatever she saw fit. 

Lol, you liked Buzz! There will be more Buzz, definitely. :) Angry! Buzz was a surprise to me. I was just writing him as regular Buzz and then all of a sudden he's snapping at Shawn and shoving him into the back of a police car! I was like, "I guess Buzz is really upset", lol. ;p "Following your characters" is so surprising sometimes. :) 

Mary & Yang, I'm thrilled you find them soooo creepy! :) I hope they will get more and more creepy. ;)

There will be plenty of time to feel sorry for Shawn... and Lassiter... and Juliet... and Lassiter.... oops, did I say too much? ;) And probably Henry, Gus, Vick.... and Buzz too. lol. And I've already written some Adam Marks into some future chapter/ parts, but he will probably escape any whump. :) I love how you say you will "worry about Shawn later" lol. :)

Thanks for sending along all the awesome. :) *major blushing* I am writing the next chapter and I will try to get an update out asap, though depending on how inspired I am for "Hard to Believe", that next chapter might be out first. :) Thanks so much for reading and I always love your reviews... and have fun streaking in the nice, hopefully sunny and warm and summery (is it your summer now?) weather. Will you be threatening teddy bears during your run too? ;) lol. Too funny!!! I will try to be quick so I don't try your patience too much! :)

Thanks again and thanks for your patience waiting for my response. *stupid computer issues. pets computer, nice, nice machine* :) Take care!

~silverluna     

Reviewer: Amybf19 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 29, 2009 11:05 pm Title: Prologue: So You've Heard, I Crossed Over The Line

Wow..... I love this fic... it is starting off really really well-the descriptions are well written and all the characters seem dead on, tho I am a bit surprised at how you wrote Shawn...... he seems a bit angry and  way snarkier than usual.  I can only think that maybe the first tangle with Yang made him less childlike and naive.  I am eager to read more....

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for reading and for your feedback! :) I'm happy you like the story so far and completely *blush* at all your compliments. Thank you! And my writing of Shawn this way... um... it's because I'm a novice when it comes to writing humor and Shawn's silliness and craziness and movie references and all of his personality is so intimidating to me! So I'm taking the writing humor part slow, but I definitely promise I will work on it for upcoming chapters! :) After all, he's going to need some humor or else he'll probably just fall apart.  I did enjoy your observation about Shawn's manner change being a result of his "first tangle with Yang". I would definitely like to explore that too, thanks for the inspiration. :) 

Thanks again for your review! Chapter One is up. :)

~silverluna

Reviewer: Texasartchick Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 29, 2009 11:01 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tried To Move Around The Pain, But Your Soul Is Anchored

Ooh, the plot thickens! Again with the wonderfully descriptive language. This is my favorite passage:

"that curled strip of black vinyl was Lassiter's holster— and his gun was resting against the driver's side front tire, upside-down."

The "curled strip of vinyl" was imaginative, but for some reason having the gun upside-down was the one, brilliant little detail that brought this whole scene to life for me. It's just so random that it makes it real.

looks like Lassie and O'Hara are in quite the bind here! Update soon please, I can't wait for more!

Texasartchick

Author's Response:

(Still shaking out my hands to get the major "oops, I could so faint here!" tingling to from reading about all the bloodiness in your chapter 4!) LOL Anyway, thanks so much for your awesome review! :) *blushing* Glad you liked it and the descriptions. *major smiles* :) Thank you!

Love that you mentioned those parts about Lassiter's holster and upside-down gun. I was trying to picture what material his holster would be made from (I'm sure you are right though, it's probably leather! oops. lol) but I'm glad "vinyl" doesn't sound too ridiculous.  I think I pictured his gun falling out of his hands and landing that way after he takes the jolt, poor thing. ;) That's cool, I'm glad you liked those parts. :) 

Definitely, Lassiter and Juliet are in some trouble... and it's only the beginning, lol. ;) I'm working on Chapter Two and may have some of the weekend free so I will work on it! Thanks so much for reading and all your awesome feedback. (The bottom of my feet are still tingling, just so you know! lol) :)

~silverluna

Reviewer: Texasartchick Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 29, 2009 7:21 am Title: Prologue: So You've Heard, I Crossed Over The Line

I thought I had reviewed this story, but apparently not.

 WOW.  Another great start to what promises to be a phenomenally entertaining read.  Clever way to get Lassiter & O'Hara alone and incapacitated.  Wonderfully suspenseful, now you have me hooked and wanting more.  I'm putting this one on my favorites so I'll know as soon as it's updated.  Please update soon, and make sure to do the world (and me) a favor by finishing it.  

Waiting for more!

 

Texasartchick



Author's Response:

Hey Texasartchick! :) Thanks for reading and for your awesome review. *Blushing, major, major blushing* :D I'm happy you like the start of this one (all your kind adjectives are making me jump around the room! lol) :) and so flattered you are already "hooked", like the suspense & story so far and have put it on your favorites! *smiles* :) I actually just updated (I stayed up till 4 am this morning, I guess it was, finishing chapter one because I wanted to get it updated that day. "Phenomenally entertaining read"... thank you, I hope I can live up to that! :) *blushing*. The plot is going crazy on me in my head on Post-it notes, but yes, I definitely want to finish it even if it's months in the making. :D Thank you so much for taking a chance on my "Yang" story and for your wonderful review! (I must now go and get updated with your story; you have added another chapter(!) already!!! You are just amazing! :) ) Thanks again for everything! :D

~silverluna



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