Date: June 16, 2013 2:30 pm Title: Chapter 4
Hi, um...haven't given a review on here in awhile so one moment. *breathes* Alright. It can be better. MUCH better. It's not a very orginal idea so I would suggest reconsidering your plot direction?? Im not being mean. Im giving tough love. Psychfic used to be a site where fans put their hard-worked masterpiece. I just learned a very popular writer is leaving for this reason. Psych-O's dont seem to care to give it their best anymore. If your going for a parody I understand. Im usually I very optomistic reveiwer BUT not giving any critism has people half-assing it. Try making your chapters longer maybe. The dialouge does NOT (I assure you) need THAT many exclimation marks. You could have chosen to reveal the intensity another way. But the dialouge definatly made it feel like a parody. I suggest improving in that area as well. TIP: Starting a story with out knowing what it is is always a mistake. We all do it.
Author's Response: I'm just going by an old idea so yeah...and I don't have a lot of time so that's why the chapters are short.