Date: March 20, 2013 2:24 am Title: Chapter 1
HOORAY for another Psychrulz fic! I have to say I LOVE the way you get deep into Lassiter's head in this story. Lassiter has a reason for everything he does, even if he's supposedly giving up and finding himself pouring his soul out to a video camera while alone in the darkness of the night. He seems like he may be breaking down, or has segregated himself due to weakness, but in reality he's actually segregating himself from the group in order to, in his mind, save them. Lassiter may not see it that way, but that is the very essence of a hero!
Can't wait to read more from you!
Date: March 19, 2013 6:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
I should have been taking watch over the herd, and instead, I decided to video myself crying and making some kind of wimpy final statements to Marlowe, my mother, and O'Hara.
I love how you've opened this story. Lassiter at what he considers to be “rock bottom”. In so many ways, this Lassiter video was a turning point. It is the most open we've seen Carlton be about his own thoughts and fears since... well... the drunken confession to Shawn in like, season 2.
Not that I was ever much of a crier. I just had things I cared about, and it hurt that he didn’t care about them too. Maybe that was because he just didn’t have something he cared about. My mother, he definitely didn’t care about her.
Every part of this segment is agonizing!! And it rings 100% true for Lassiter besides. It's obvious the issues with his dad were painful and deep and actually, one of my fears is that the series will eventually introduce us to Lassiter's dad and present a character that just doesn't live up to the indifferent and craptastic father we've built in our imaginations. Lassiter's dad was a bastard, either through deliberate cruelty or uncaring neglect.
I don’t remember when I realized what was happening, or when I made the decision that this is how it would end for me, but man, I was scared.
I absolutely LOVE this moment in his thoughts – that he admits to that fear. Because Carlton IS a human being and his emotions are as real as the next person. He's just been conservative about how he expresses them. But to have him reach this state of fear is heart wrenching. Especially in that he's completely alone. That he'll die alone. And I wonder if he's always assumed that would be the case? That he is like the lone cowboy who rides off to face the bullets without anyone at his side. And though, he now DOES have friends and it's fair that he should have them at his side as he leaves the world – wouldn't it figure that fate would STILL have him die without anyone there.
I know Spencer and Guster act like idiots most of the time…all of the time…but that doesn’t mean they really are idiots. Even when they’re wrong, there’s always something there. I take my job too seriously to not take them seriously.
This is really fantastic! It's awesome that he'll admit to his reluctant respect for Shawn and Gus. On top of that, I just really love how you put that last sentence together: “I take my job too seriously to not take them seriously.” It has a perfect cadence and stands out.
I think it was a very smart move to refer to Carlton's feelings about women and that initially he'd been skeptical about how they'd fare under his instruction. It makes me REALLY want a story that has Lassiter angrily defend Juliet against a cop or several cops that badly disrespect her. Maybe they make things really hard for her when she first is paired up with Lassiter.
Maybe I would have had a chance to teach her more…to teach her better. Maybe one more week with her, or one more month, and I’d have been able to teach her something that would have saved her life.
I maybe mentioned it before, but this part makes me tear up. It's agonizing and I WISH the series had bothered to give Lucinda more of a send off than to have her be a “blink and you miss it” moment in the opening episode. She deserved better.
THAT’S why I wasn’t even close to being the hero that night. Were they to be discovered, in an all out fight, she had very little chance and I knew it. And I left her anyway, because if it meant giving her even one chance in a hundred, then I was going to give her that.
Brilliant way to insert the title and theme of this story. And it immediately calls back to the previous segment where he'd spoken of Lucinda and pondered if he could have saved her life if he'd only had one more week. One more moment.
I guess you could say she killed my barriers with kindness. Or maybe I was just lonely…because I really was…so lonely.
This is another moment that tears me up. It's so aching and desperate and I immediately want to hug the guy cause he doesn't deserve that loneliness. It's like... It's like the moment in one of the early season episodes when he walked through the bullpen and saw Juliet, Gus, and Shawn eating Chinese together. And he badly wanted to join... to be “part of”... but he just couldn't. He didn't feel bonded with that. And yet, when Shawn tossed him a cookie, his face just bloomed with happiness. It was enough just to have that tiny second of belonging. And yet, at the same time, it was nowhere near enough.
That whole paragraph of Lassiter being in awe of O'Hara is fantastic! I can so easily envision his shiny happy face as he's thinking about that badass in heels lol!
The way you wrapped this up was complete perfection! Having him say that “he wasn't the hero” because “O'Hara was” was... as I say... PERFECT! This was such an incredible personality story, thank you so much for writing it!!
Author's Response: AWWW *HUGS*!!!! You know it's only as great as it is because you helped make it what it is! You've even brought up stuff that I didn't really think of on my own! Don't ever stop being awesome! *HUGS* again
Date: March 19, 2013 11:14 am Title: Chapter 1
I love your stories so much. I suppose because I am a psychologist too and love how you get into the character's heads.
The shout out to Lucinda was touching and how he thought he failed to save her life.
I thought Lassie was really interesting in the episode...Zombie Apocalypse... need I say more, and you captured his inner monologue perfectly. Kudos to you on another great story!
Author's Response: Hey, getting into people's heads is what I do best! ;) I've said before that I love character studies, and Psych gives us some incredible material to work with. Thanks so much for your awesome review.