P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }I've immediately started reading this story again - just a week after having finished it!  

Whump.  MY GOSH YES!!

PERFECTLY balanced with the overwhelming mountain of plot and and story and heartbreak and world building that takes the Moonlight series WAY beyond what we saw on screen.  You've given me a love an compassion for vampires that I hadn't had prior to reading your first story.

They breaking down of Shawn in this story is especially heartbreaking!

He's had almost no time to truly come to terms with being a vampire – rapidly thrown from being turned to being kidnapped to starving to friends being kidnapped to turning Lassiter to training to Lance to Juliet's pregnancy – the station exploding... taking a life...  How many times has the phrase “no rest for the wicked” gone through his mind?  Each time a hard punch in the chest because he really thinks himself this “monster”.  All of the things he says about his mother when he goes to visit Lassie - “She hates me!” “She thinks I'm a monster!” are his own terrors coming out.  Because she never told him either of those things.  But he's so terrified that he's no longer a human and that all of humanity has been torn from him that he may really believe those things.  And that, alone, would be more than enough to drag him down to depression.  But then it gets worse.

Being taken – and by this group that, truthfully, he could have handled on his own.  But by stupid luck, they got the drop on him in the worst way.

They way they tortured him is agonizing!!  Because it was so cruel – build on a giddy curiosity because they saw him as what he was so terrified that he actual was.  A monster.  A “thing”.  He wasn't human so he didn't deserve better.  

And all of that was more than enough.  But for Ben to force Shawn to turn him – that goes into a vicious level of horrific violation!  It makes the throat tighten up in realizing what that really meant in terms of being violated.  It wasn't rape but it was so very similar.  Something was taken away and it nearly killed Shawn in the process.  On top of that, it forced another soul and mind to mingle with his.  Even though Ben had no idea that part would happen – I get the feeling he wouldn't have cared anyway.  In fact, he may have capitalized on it intentionally HAD he known.  

I can't stop thinking about that aspect of this story.  Those wicked souls tied to Shawn – and what that could mean for the future.  It made Aaron insane – living though the deaths of his fledglings.  Shawn is lucky that he has a support system that Aaron didn't – but the lingering loss (to beings he'd hated but was forced to be bound to regardless) has to have made a mark.  And now he has that knowledge of what it is to experience another's death searing through his brain and body.  He hated those men.  How would it feel if it was the death of someone he treasured?  Toss up to which is more terrifying – turning feral again or feeling the death of someone beloved.

I KNOW you'd started another story after the end of this one.  And yet, I STILL felt terrified for what would happen to Shawn when the Cleaners put him through the test.  Ge was SO far gone that I felt an ache that he wouldn't make it through.  And I was biting my lip because I couldn't see a way out – certainly not in a realistic way.

And then you DID IT!!!  You not only wrote a heartbreaking challenge – but you made his win completely believable!!

And, actually, I couldn't help thinking that Aaron's long ago temptation with the chained woman had been a contributing factor in Shawn overcoming this test.  BECAUSE he's lived with this fear – he was able to come to his senses long enough to resist it a second time.

Is it weird that, the longer I read these stories, the more empathy I have for Aaron?  That maybe he was a really decent guy – but lost his way at some point?  I find myself so curious about what this guy was like before he lost everything.  And if I'm curious, I wonder if Shawn and/or Lassie would also be curious?  Or maybe even Henry – given that Aaron's blood made Shawn what he is?  In the way an adopted child may want to know where they came from – will there be questions, someday, about what ELSE Aaron may have passed on?

Also I am SOOOOOO freaking excited to read more of “Click”!! (and since I've neglected to say before – BIG kudos on adapting Moonlight titles into Psych chapter titles!!)      

Author's Response:

I love this review so much!

I always worried that what I did to Shawn was over the top, but it would take a lot for him to break I think, so I had to go there.

I'm glad you thought the way I had him redeem himself was realistic. (or as realistic as a vampire crossover can be. Lol) It was a lot of work to set the seeds for that one. 

Also, it's not weird about how you are feeling sympathy for Aaron. When I first wrote him, I just tried to make him a run of the mill bad guy, but as the stories went on, I just started adding some back story and really felt for the character. I may have Adam do some looking in Click. You know Despereaux would probably encourage it too.

Loved it!!


Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Dang!  Embarking on another story!  Awesomeness!  Yes, a little girl for Shawn and Jules.  Hmm, her name wouldn't be Starfish, would it?  LOL!  Nice ending, keeping us in suspense for the next installment! 

Author's Response: My lips are zipped on the name. :D Yep, I am trying to keep people interested. I know it's a long series and keeping things fresh and interesting makes it fun.

I know that Desperaux's line of vampires aren't quite the family kind, but I think Desperaux, the thief with a sense of honor, will be the perfect father figure for Adam, a not so evil thief turned Vampire. I love the way you explore him in this fic, turning him into a bit more of a well rounded character than what we have seen on the show. If you write a sequel, I would love to see the Adam/Desperaux relationship explored a bit more. Desperaux seems like a character who could use a protege.

The scenes with Shawn and Juliet, and Shawn and Gus are bittersweet. Shawn needs to spend some time away to recover from what happened, to become a bit more of the Shawn he used to be, before the trauma. I like seeing the moment of vulnerability between Shawn and Juliet, where he tells her he isn't okay, and he is scared. It is nice seeing Juliet having to be the stronger partner in the relationship, especially when you could just have easily turned her into some type of a pawn, as is common in these types of fics and this genre. I love the intimacy you have between them, with her scent comforting him the way nothing else could. So beautifully written.

Also quite a sweet moment between Shawn and Gus, and Gus being sorry for what he said. I love the way Gus makes a movie reference, to make Shawn feel like the Shawn he knows, and not someone else, who Shawn may turn into. that also reminds me that I  do need to put Deer Hunter on my movies to watch list.

I also like how you have us feeling an eansy bit of sympathy for Carlos, who is worrying about his poor mother.

The scene where they are put to death is quit terrifying, and as I said before, I feel sort of bad for Carlos, but not as much for Zach.

And I feel so bad at what Shawn is having to go though.

Can't wait for the next chapter.



Author's Response:

Thanks a ton! I tried to show Shawn's vulnerability in this chapter. He's so beaten he doesn't have the energy to keep up the farce of nonchalantness... if that's even a word.

 Actually, Despereaux and Josef's line are VERY family orientated, but they learned to distance themselves from other people because their turns tend to go bad somehow. Once you are a vampire, it's all good but with humans, so they don't get attached, they are distant.

Another really great, terrific chapter. I'm so glad Shawn passed the test. It will be hard for him, but I have hope that he will make it through. He made it this far without giving in after all.

Shawn concentrating so hard on not hurting Juliet as she approached him made me want to cry. It also gave me so much hope that he can recover from this. He won't be the same, but he can get through this.

I feel bad about Carlos. He did seem like the nicest out of the bunch. I understand why he couldn't be saved but it still made me sad to see him die. Though his death was one last horrible thing Shawn had to endure from him.

My thoughts are completely scattered right now. The story just blew me away. I'll have to write another, more coherent review later.