Date: July 29, 2017 9:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
GGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FREAKING CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!
Could you POSSIBLY break me more???? ASDFHHJDGFSDHFJHDGSDFHJDGJ!! I mean I have literal tears I'm smudging off my face! You are, like, scary good at writing tragedy!
By FAR, though, the perspective of Karen visiting Gus at the hospital had me BROKEN!! Wow!! Just...!!!!!!!!!!!!
His state of mind, at first, is so incredibly sad! Yet there's a piece of me that was nearly happy that he was still living in a universe where Shawn (and everyone else) was alive. Part of me wanted him to stay there forever because there was escape, in that. As long as he kept his mind on the clues he contrived and ignored the clues to his reality, he was okay. But .. Gus is too smart, for that. And, actually, it was brilliant of Vick to be the one to suggest that Gus follow the clues to figure out that reality. Possibly in conflict with what his doctors were trying to do but, yet, how could she do any different? Because , while Shawn was still alive for Gus - Gus is smart enough, savvy enough, that there was pain, too. Those questions always arising "why hasn't Shawn visited me lately?" and Karen can't let him keep living in purgatory.
Thank you for this! SO SO good and I'm wrecked but I loved it!
Date: July 26, 2017 4:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
First off, I truly love this line: Chief Karen Vick called it the only day she had ever truly believed in Hell.
I just feel like it's very in-character for her and it shows what a shocking impact that "The Incident" had on her.
She only noticed the body parts at first, the remnants of what was left of her officers.
That is an EXCELLENT way to set the scene and you've already gotten me to be emotionally compromised. It's amazing that we get to see the scene unfold just the way that she gets to see it: slowly and with so much impact. Very nice!
The smoke of residual fires mingled with a drizzling mist, and it took her entirely too long to realize that it wasn’t any type of normal mist at all, that it had a red tint to it that made the tightness in her chest drop to her stomach and she had to clench her teeth together to hold back a dry heave.
This is perfect. Perfectly balanced description, perfect emotional shock value...just everything. Favorite line, and something that's going to stay in the back of my mind for a long time. I wish I'd thought of it first; that's how good that is.
Her reaction as she walks into the psychiatric facility is so on-point and in-character. Excellent.
I was really interested in Gus' reaction to the whole thing. It's so interesting the way he developed those coping mechanisms, trying to shield himself from the truth until he couldn't anymore, and the way he was very slowly coming to terms with the truth. And I love it that you addressed the fact that he ran off when Shawn stayed behind, because it's entirely true that Gus would've been the only one to survive.
You have a great story here, and I truly enjoyed it. And also, I wish I'd thought of it first! This is exactly the kind of story that I love to read. Thanks for sharing!
Date: July 24, 2017 1:45 pm Title: Chapter 1
SPEEEEEEENNNNNNNNCE HOW DARE YOUUUUUUUU?????????
SEE THAT? SEE THAT GINORMOUS OCEANIC PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR THERE? THAT USED TO BE ME. MY HEART AND MY SOUL. REDUCED TO A PUDDLE!!
Okay, theatrics aside, this was a beautiful fic. Terrible and gut-wrenching, but so well done. Poor baby Gus, and poor Karen! It's believable, though, that Gus would have that sort of reaction to such a traumatic event. And I love that Karen visited him and was helping him through it all.
BUT ALL THE EVENTS OF THIS BROKE MY HEART!! Like Gus, thinking he had a case, and SEEING THE OTHERS, and then finally realizing at the end. Poor poor poor poor babies. Ugh.