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Don't own Psych, wish I did.


June 21

Let me make this abundantly clear.

I don’t have to prove anything to you.

I have an impeccable service record, I passed every psych eval at the Academy with flying colors (if you don’t count the one jerk who claimed I was “intense and creepy”), and I have eight commendations for valor.

I also won the Santa Barbara Police Department chili cook-off three years in a row.

Bottom line: I don’t give a damn what you think about my mental stability.

In fact, I don’t give a damn what you think about anything.

And you can quote me on that in whatever little report you’re filling out.

-C. Lassiter, Head Detective SBPD


June 22

This is a complete and utter waste of my time, not to mention valuable police resources. I hope you lousy bean-counters are happy.

Go count your damn beans somewhere else and leave me alone.

Some of us have actual jobs to do.

- C. Lassiter, Head Detective SBPD

June 23

I know Spencer’s been stealing my Power Bars. I don’t care what he says, Power Bars do not spontaneously combust. They also don’t “run away in fear”.

It wouldn’t piss me off so much that he steals them, but he leaves the wrappers on my desk. Just to taunt me.

One of these days, I’m going to nail his skinny, annoying butt to the wall.

I can’t wait. It’s the only thought that gets me through the day.

- C. Lassiter, Head Detective SBPD


June 24

O’Hara closed her first solo case today.

Of all the partners I’ve had the Department cram down my throat, I have to admit she is one of the more competent, less irritating ones. Most of the time.

In fact, her one glaring flaw is that she seems to be able to endure Spencer. God only knows why.

When this is finally my precinct, she might one day work her way up to Head Detective.

Of course, she’ll have to stop smiling like an idiot all the time.

Head Detectives don’t smile.

Why can’t she seem to grasp that?

-C. Lassiter, Head Detective, SBPD



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