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Story Notes:

This is for Mia, and everyone else who enjoys some strange Psychness every once in a while.

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych. This collection of stories is complete and utter silliness.

Author's Chapter Notes:

Jenn, here.

This is all because Mia and Christina were allowed to be in a chat together...don't know what I was thinking.

Weather in Santa Barbara was usually pretty nice, making it ideal for jogging. Juliet enjoyed going for a jog in the mornings, but she was quite content to exercise any time during the day. It occurred to her, as she thought more on the subject of exercise, that she and Shawn keep a similar schedule, and that she would truly enjoy having a jogging partner when she went out for her runs.

Shawn, however, would have none of it.

“I can’t, Jules. I’m allergic.”

Juliet tilted her head, confused. “Allergic to...?”


Rolling around the Psych office in his desk chair, having refused to walk at all that day, Shawn threw out his candy wrapper and popped another jellybean into his mouth. Gus stood in the back of the office, quiet, eating a bowl of cereal.

“Shawn, you’re not allergic to exercise.”

Shawn scoffed. “Well, if you must know, I think I have elliptical PTSD! After what you did, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to exercise again.”

“Oh please, are we still on this?” Juliet asked with a sigh.

“We are definitely still on this! You’re the one who put me there! You...devil woman!”

Juliet rolled her eyes. “Shawn, I said I was sorry for that.”

But Shawn continued his rant. “Devil woman!” he chanted, stomping out of the office.

Biting her lip, Juliet turned to Gus, who just raised his eyebrows. “Okay, I guess I’m going alone,” she said, more to herself than to her boyfriend’s best friend.


Twenty minutes later, Juliet was jogging along one of the more quiet streets of the city, when she heard a car pulling slowly up beside her. Turning, she could see Shawn in his best friend’s company car, staring distastefully at her.

“Shawn!” she gasped, finding the whole scenario a bit strange.

“Devil woman!” he cried through the open window, then sped off down the road.

Right before the car was out of sight, Juliet could have sworn Gus had been staring at her though the back seat window, eating a sandwich.


Later that evening, as they did every Thursday night, Shawn and Juliet sat together at their favorite Chinese restaurant. Toward the end of the meal, Juliet reached for one of the fortune cookies, snapped it open, and glanced at her fortune.

“Devil Woman” was all it said.

“Oh come on, Shawn! Are you serious?” she asked, exasperated.

Shawn took the fortune and read it. “See, Jules, even the Chinese know your true nature.”

“Shawn Spencer, this isn't funny,” Juliet said, her tone on edge.

Shawn put a hand to his heart. “Are you suggesting I had something to do with this? I can honestly say this is something I had no hand in.”

Just then, one of the owners came over and placed a pair of keys on the table next to Shawn. “Shawn, you left your keys by the fortune cookie maker earlier today.”

With her mouth hanging open, Juliet watched as Shawn put on his most sincere smile. “Thank you, Miranda,” he said sweetly. The older woman smiled back and patted his shoulder.

Shawn turned back to Juliet, who was now glaring. “Okay, fine, you’re not a devil woman,” he said, popping a piece of fortune cookie into his mouth. “You’re incredible and wonderful and my life would be meaningless without you.”

Juliet smirked. “You’re ridiculous, Shawn.” She took a bite of her cookie.

“If by ridiculous you mean ‘amazing’, then yes, I see no reason to argue with you.”

Rolling her eyes, Juliet took his hand in hers. “I guess it was kind of traumatizing, what I did.”

“Extremely,” Shawn answered, leaning in.

All of a sudden, Gus walked out from the kitchen holding a large creme puff in his hand. The three stared at each other momentarily, then Gus, taking a large bite of his pastry, walked out of the restaurant.

Juliet scrunched her nose, a bit baffled. Shawn didn’t seem surprised.

On their way out to the car, Shawn grabbed Juliet by her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

“What is it, Shawn?”

And with a deep breath, Shawn said, as serious as could be, “I’m still not going jogging with you.”

Chapter End Notes:
Yeah. :-P

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