Shawn laid in his hospital room, staring at the pitch black ceiling, unable to sleep despite the sleeping pills given to him. His mind was sprinting with questions, feelings, and thoughts. He didn't feel like moving, because he knew it would hurt a lot more than lying still did. He tried reviewing everything that happened in the past 36 hours, but kept arriving at one particular moment. It wasn't even the moment that idiot pulled the trigger or jumping on top of a moving car.
His concussed mind couldn't stop thinking about Juliet. How he told her he loved her. Then he just took it back by saying Abigail's name. It was essential, yes, but it still stung to think how he did that. The worst part was, he could have called anyone to do that, but for some reason, he called Juliet with the full intent of saying "I love you". Why did he do that? He and Juliet had history... Sort of. He was still struggling with the "platonic" relationship that he was trying to keep with her.
Was she going to say it back? It sounded like she was. As much as Gus believes otherwise, Shawn had the feeling she was going to tell him she loved him too. They say that people sometimes extend the horizons of their emotions when saying goodbye to someone in danger. It didn't sound like she was saying goodbye though. She sounded scared, terrified even, and hurt.
Why'd it even matter? He has a girlfriend and great one at that. One that promised to take good care of him when she could (though he was actually going to stay at his dad's until he got better). Unfortunately, she promised to give him sponge baths right when Juliet awkwardly walked into the hospital room to get Shawn's statement.
Abigail felt this was something between Shawn and the police so she left. Juliet pulled up a chair and sat near Shawn. He couldn't help but smile with her near him. It was Jules.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Sore. It feels like a took a bullet." He smirked.
"Oh wait, you did." She said with a small smile toying at her lips. Though her eyes spoke for how little sleep she got and how scared she was. "I'm really glad you're okay, Shawn."
He smiled. "Me too."
After getting his statement, she stood up. "I'll drop by tomorrow with information regarding how those dirtbags are going to be charged. Is there anything I can bring you or something?"
This was her safe way of checking up on him. He liked it. He didn't like her worried, but he liked the idea of Juliet taking care of him.
"Bring pineapple and your smiling face. Also, get here early, Jules. Apparently everyone wants a look at the patient."
He noticed her look towards Henry, Abigail, and Gus. "Yes, I can see that. I'll see you tomorrow."
Shawn really liked Abigail. Like he really really liked her. He wanted to be with her since he was 17. She was everything young Shawn wanted in a girl. She was everything any guy would want in a girl.
But Juliet was a whole different story. Abigail disappeared for years and eventually came back then went away for another year and came back again. She escaped his mind every time she left. Juliet never went away. She never left. She's stable and even when he's with someone else, the thought of him and her never leaves his mind. He feels guilty about it, but that doesn't stop the impending thought of Juliet being the one to give him sponge baths.
But he really liked Abigail. He doesn't want to see her go. He wants her to stay. She is the first real relationship he's ever had. She means something to him. They have fun together. She, too, would give a hell of a sponge bath. He wanted to impress her, make her happy, and see that he was much more than that idiot in high school could ever be.
But Juliet knew he was more than that boy in high school could ever be.
But Juliet told him to go for Abigail. That meant something, right? When one path tells you to go for another, that means you should right? It means it's meant to be for the meantime. It also means the other path just isn't a real option at the moment.
"I love you." Saying it to Juliet felt right. Saying Abigail's name also felt right. What did that mean? What was the meaning behind everything? He hated the confusion this presented and almost resented Juliet for being the muse behind it all. It wasn't her fault though.
He would be with Abigail. She came back for a reason. And dammit, he would find out what that reason was.
When he woke up, Juliet actually just walked through the door, bearing a pineapple in one hand and paperwork in another.
Maybe one path lead into another... He would have to keep going.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Takes place right after Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark and is basically Shawn's thought process involving telling Juliet he loves her.