- Text Size +

Shawn Spencer: Warrior for Social Justice!

To solve this one, he needed to go undercover, deep undercover. He needed to check his white, male, American, cisgendered, middle class, able bodied privilege at the door. He bit into a burrito, and assumed that there went his thin privilege.

There was nothing quite like doing research, to solve a murder on the UC Santa Barbara campus. The person, Amy Williams, had been active in a lot of political organizations, both online and offline. Online she was a politician, arguing for the rights of all, the disabled, and the less fortunate. Offline she was a grad student in Sociology and the Resident Advisor in a dorm on campus.

Shawn leaned back in his chair. He had two windows open in his web browser, , and the Geekfeminism wiki. Over on the TV, Supernatural was playing courtesy of Gus's new Netflix account. Netflix was a legitimate business expense, right?

By tomorrow morning he would get the hang of this, and he would be Shawn Spencer, the world's number one defender of all, everything, from minorities, to those who didn't identify as male, strike that those who didn't identify as human in general.

Maybe he wasn't Shawn Spencer, a white male after all? Perhaps he was an otherkin? From what he had read otherkins got all kinds of privilege brownie points. They weren't human, they weren't white, and they didn't have to pertain to traditional gender classifications. He, or strike that s/he needed to go on a journey of self-discovery, and for a few minutes he did. He was no longer Shawn Spencer Psychic Detective, he was now No First Name Spencer (NFN) Psychic Pineapple Detective. He wasn't human anymore, nor was he even an animal, he was a pineapple born into

a man's body.

Since the case had occurred on the UC Santa Barbara campus, it wasn't in the jurisdiction of the SBPD, but the SBPD was helping out. It fell into the jurisdiction of the campus police and the chief, Elena "Lenny," Fitzgerald.

Lenny Fitzgerald, as she was known was a longtime controversial figure within the SBPD. Twenty years ago, when she was passed up for Senior Detective she attributed it to her being a woman and being a feminist. She quit the force, and found employment in the college campus.

Henry always said that the college campus was a better fit for her and her political views. In fact, Henry was happy not to have to deal with her. She once criticized Henry for his handling of a difficult rape case. Henry was convinced the "victim," was lying, and she was convinced she wasn't. She took issue with the "unsympathetic," way he was questioning the victim. Turned out Lenny was right and Henry was reprimanded for his handling of the case.

Shawn was surrounded by a captive audience in the victim's dorm room on the campus of UCSB, including Gus, and the infamous Lenny Fitzgerald.

"The spirits, they mentioned cutting," Shawn paused, and reached for the first sharp thing he could grab, a plastic eating utensil set. He looked up at the spirits enraged. "But, spirits of the UC Santa Barbara Campus, you didn't warn for Self Harm? You need to learn that if you are going to tell me something that could be triggery to warn for it. Now you've triggered me! Does that make you happy! Do you see that what I said has two explanation points!" He turned his eyes back to Gus and Lenny. "These spirits, sometimes they force me to do things. Difficult things that fill me with inner rage." He looked outward again, "Must channel inner rage, must channel inner rage," he said as he removed the plastic butter knife from the bag.

"Shawn, don't do this, think of something to distract yourself! You can't cut now. This is an immature method of coping with your problems. There are other ways to cope." He calmly tried to soothe Shawn, trying to restrain him, but Shawn reached out.

"Noooo, there is no way of stopping me Gus, I can't help myself." He began to attempt to cut the inside of his arm with the plastic knife. He rocked back and forth singing, "the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting, try to kill it all the way but I remember everything..."

"Shawn stop it," said Gus as he yanked the plastic knife out of Shawn's hand. Shawn then picked up the plastic fork and began to poke his arm with it.

"And Shawn if you are going to be cutting you don't sing Johnny Cash, what about something by Radiohead?" suggested Gus.

Shawn rage paused momentarily, he looked up. "Hurt is a song from the mid-nineties by Nine Inch Nails. You didn't listen to Nine Inch Nails in the nineties?"

Gus shook his head "No."

"You should have been, they had such great music during the grunge era. There is no one quite like Trent Reznor."

"Shawn, looks like I've successfully distracted you from self-injuring. How about singing me some more Nine Inch Nails?"

Shawn put down the plastic fork, then began humming the beginning of another Nine Inch Nails song then singing the lyrics, "you let me vio..."

Lenny looked angrily at Shawn, "Mr. Spencer, please stop this this is horribly out of line and unprofessional."

"I was triggered, I can't help it, this place attracts all kinds of bad triggery spirits with bad triggery mojo. The spirits haven't learned about trigger warnings yet. I've been trying to teach them about it, but they refuse to learn." He answered as he went through the third object in the baggie of utensils, it was a spoon, but now it was no longer a spoon, because someone had burnt the edge turning it into a legitimate sharp object, the object that had been the murder weapon. "Looks like I found the murder weapon," said Shawn as he handed it to Lenny.

Enter the security code shown below: