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Author's Chapter Notes:

Party apartment-sharing community


As a sketch to satiricly portray the behavior of our politicians, Space Frogs made a video, portraying the biggest (or most known) parties as people who live together.

Don´t know if the sketch applies as well to the political situation of whatever country you, dear reader, come from. But maybe it´s still funny to you.

For the German system these were Christian Conservatives, Labor Party, Liberals, Ecological Party, and the Right Wing Party. The Party "The Pirates" has a tiny cameo too. In this translation I put the Psych characters into those roles, in order of the formally named parties: Lassiter, Gus, Shawn, Juliet and Henry. And Woody as "The Pirate".


Have fun.


Disclaimer: I own nothing of this.


If paries would be roommates

Lassiter:  "Guys. Community meeting. We need to talk. Now."

Shawn: "Whassa matter?"

Lassiter: "For weeks food is vanishing from our kitchen. Someone is stealing my coffee and I want to blame SOMEone!"

Juliet: "You call coffee food?"

Henry: "If we had closed the doors as I suggested, this would NOT have happened."

Shawn: "What have the doors to do with that?"

Henry: "I don´t trust our neighbour. He surely sneaks into our home at night and steals our stuff."

Gus: "Mr. Shyamalan earns billions. Why should he steal our food?"

Henry: "Because he´s a for..."

Lassiter: "All right, all right, the last thing we want is to blame anyone blindly. That´s against protocoll. There must be evidence for rightfull blaming and I have a suggestion how we get it. Video surveillance of the kitchen, 24/7."

Gus: "That sounds like a solution."

Shawn: "Dude. Ever heard of privacy? I don´t want to be filmed all the time."

Gus: "Ah, yeah. Yeah, sure. He has a point." shringks down, facing Lassiter´s glare "He´s ... right. A little bit."

Lassiter: "You´ve got to hide something, Spencer?"

Shawn: rolls his eyes

Juliet: "Everyone does something, once in a while, what he does not want to be filmed. Even in the kitchen."

Lassiter: "Drinking someone elses coffee for example? Miss ... hm I´m something better because I eat vegan."

Juliet: "Do YOU know how much of rain forest gets destroyed every year, just for ..."

Henry: "Yeah, we all do. Thanks to you."

Shawn: "All Gus wants to prevent is, that we see him having sex in the kitchen."

Henry: "Ha. With his sexy Mexican-babes. We can film THAT. That´d be funny." gets glances from everyone "Um ... I mean ... we have to lock the doors at last. Don´t you see how this community goes downhill?"

Shawn: "And how are the hot Mexican-babes supposed to get in?"

Woody: from outside the Window, grinning "Arg, through the window."

Juliet: irritated "Why are you all talking such a sexist crap."

Lassiter: "Why is that sexist?"

Juliet: "Why this is sexist? WHY THIS IS SEXIST?"

Lassiter: gestures incomprehension and mouths "very sorry" to the others

Juliet: "I WILL TELL YOU WHY THIS IS SEXIST!" takes out a folder and opens it
"Point one! ... "

 

5 hours later, everyone sleeps, Juliet closes the folder, wakes everyone with the sound of it

 

Juliet: "That´s why this is sexist. And that´s why we need better female quota."

Henry: "That is bullshit chitchat from those tie wearing donkeys up there. They just want to confuse us with their political correctnes."

Shawn: "Where did you get that from?"

Henry: "I read it on facebook."

Lassiter: "Sweet justice, how about we take a break for now? I´m hungry. Want to order something?"

Gus: "Yeah, good idea. What do you guys want?"

Henry: "Something American!"

Shawn: "Pizza Hawaii?"

Henry: "Oh yeah!!!"

Juliet: "I know a very good vegan gluten-free bio pizza bakery. He makes his pizza boxes from recycled chlorine-free newspapers."

Lassiter: "You´re kidding, right?"

Gus: "Well, to me that sounds healthy. I´m in."

Lassiter: "Guys, all I want is a normal salami pizza with extra cheese. Real cheese, from healthy American cows."

Gus: "That sounds good too. Even better. I´m with him now."

Shawn: "Guys, let´s just order a few pizzas and everyone takes what he wants when they´re here."

Lassiter: "Are you crazy? I want my OWN."

Juliet: "Then we order seperately, if you insist that much to destroy the world with your pizzas."

Lassiter: growns but drops it quickly and smiles "But IF we take, I can as well treat myself with something good, right?" reached down the table and gets up a beer

Shawn: "Hey, Gus. How about WE treat ourselves to something good too?"

Gus: "Great idea. Anyone else want some cupcakes?"

Lassiter: gets up Whiskey "You goddamn idiots. Don´t you know how you destroy your bodies with all this sugar and aromatics?" takes an angry glas of Whiskey, then thinks "Although. To a good cup of coffee ... Okay, I take one too."

Gus: "Sweet."

Shawn: "Okay, but pizza first. Shall we pay them from the community fund?"

Juliet: "Huh? Which community fund?"

Shawn: "Well, the black purse out there in the hallway."

Lassiter: "Hey, that´s mine. Did you take money out of that?"

Shawn: "Yes, for needy people. Each time I give out a coffee to the freezing beggars in the streets."

Lassiter: "You gave away my coffee?"

Shawn: "Did your parents never teach you to share, you ..."

Lassiter: "Spencer, I swear to god ..."

Juliet: "I though all we wanted was to eat pizza together ..."

Gus: "Shawn! How could you ..."

Shawn: "Really, I don´t believe this ..."

Henry: gets up, while they argue, goes to the door, takes a club,

"Okay guys, I´ll head out for the neighbourhood-watch." hits club into his hand

"Anyone wanna come?" looks around

everyone: staring at him, perplexed

Henry: "No one?"

everyone: ...

Henry: "Okay. See ya."

everyone: glancing at each other, bewildered

Juliet: "I believe we have a problem ..."

 

 

Chapter End Notes:
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