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Story Notes:
Hey lovelys! So this isn't the happiest thing I've written, but I got the idea when I moved into uni and it refused to leave me alone. Hence result!

Slightly based off an episode of Scrubs, don't remember which one, but you'll know it when you see it.

Oh, yes, it's told in Gus' point of view.

Originally published in 2013
Today, everyone was in the hospital. No, it wasn't some horrible event that took place that cause us all to be horribly injured, don't worry. Juliet was just giving birth. She was in her own private room, screaming away, while us guys stayed in the waiting room. There was no real reason for us to be in with her. We figured if there were any problems, they would tell us. If all went smoothly, they'd come out and tell us. Then we could go in and see the new baby. It made sense.

And, soon enough, just like I said, out came the doctor telling us all that the baby was born. The baby was a healthy, six pound baby boy. His name was Shawn O'Hara. His father's first name, his mother's surname. I didn't like it. I hated it. I really, really hated the name. It just wasn't right. But, it seemed everyone else was practically in love with the name. I loathed it. Everyone followed the doctor inside to meet the new baby. Even Lassiter was practically running inside, unable to contain his excitement (which for Lassiter was saying something). Shawn was nice enough to keep me company out here.

It wasn't that I hated the baby. In fact, I'm sure that given time and the proper opportunity to get to know the little guy, I might like him. But for now, I hate him.

"Awh, come on, son" Shawn said beside me. "Don't be such a cranky pants."

"It's wrong" I told him. "It's just all wrong."

"What, did you want him to be named after you? Burton O'Hara?"

"It's weird that his name is O'Hara" I explained. "And it's wrong that his name is Shawn."

"I wish you'd just be happy for the little guy."

"I am."

"No you're not. You're so against everything this less than one hour old stands for. I don't get it, personally. Lighten up." I just rolled my eyes at Shawn. I didn't expect him to understand. "Are you still in pain?" he asked, eying my leg.

"No."

"It was a pretty bad accident. The pain is probably making you cynical."

"I'm not in pain, Shawn."

"That's such a lie. You're Mister Liar today, aren't you?"

"Leave me alone" I said at last. "I don't expect you to understand." Shawn look offended for a bit, and then left. And now that he was actually gone, now that I was alone, I could finally show the amount of pain I was really in. My knee felt like it was constantly breaking. It felt that with every muscle I moved in my leg, the bone somehow snapped a little more. It was easily the most painful thing I had ever gone through, and I hope never to have to go through it again.

You see, only five days ago I was in a horrible accident. Well, we were in a horrible accident. Shawn and I were following up on a lead, a really important one that would blow our case wide open. My car was in repair, so the only option we had was Shawn's motorbike. He insisted that he was a very good driver, and I listened to him. Now, it wasn't Shawn's fault we crashed. Not in the slightest. One of the suspects (our prime suspect, who we proved only two days ago was responsible for everything) had tried to drive us off the road. He easily pushed us over and we ended up in a horrible crash. The paramedics arrived in record time, but that didn't mean we walked out of the accident unscathed. They said I was actually lucky to get out with only a cracked kneecap. And I suppose I am. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though.

After a while, I just decided to leave the hospital. To me, everything just seemed wrong about this. The name, the baby, their excitement. It all just seemed wrong. I don't care what Shawn says, it's wrong. And I've had enough. So without even saying goodbye, without even meeting this new baby, I left the hospital.

~ ~ ~


Today is arguably the most pointless day in all of mankind. We are actually celebrating Shawn O'Hara's birthday. We're all getting together and celebrating this baby's birth. I mean, Juliet only just got let out of the hospital. The baby isn't going to remember this at all. Everyone knows the baby was born, and all those who needed to be there were already at the hospital! We had already in a way celebrated the baby's birth. We don't need an event for it. it's completely pointless. I could be at home right now. I could be in the Psych building, sorting out our lease and our bills. But no. I'm at this stupid party.

I didn't want to be here. Not at all. I had arguments with Shawn for the past three days about it. He kept saying that I needed to go, that it was important to him that I was there. I really didn't want to, but Shawn is my friend. Of course I'm going to listen to him. Of course I'll do what he tells me. Especially now of all times. That's it the only reason I turned up to this stupid event. And can you believe they're actually making us dress up for the occasion to? I have to be in a suit. Most people will be in suits, and all the girls have made themselves look nice. For three year old baby. It's completely and totally ridiculous. I'm going to hate today.

I made my way through the field, towards the group of people. They were all on their feet, probably talking about how great and amazing the baby is. Talking about how cute and fitting the name was. Stupid baby.

"Gus!" I heard Shawn call out to me. "Great, you're here. Now the party can really start!"

"Great. This should be fun."

"Please, leave all your negative energy at the door."

"There is no door, Shawn. We're outside."

"Alright, well then leave it right here. You can come back for it later. I promise no one will touch it. No one will even go near it."

"Shawn…"

"Oh look, there's Jules!" Shawn exclaimed, pointing at his girl. "Let's go say hi!" I rolled my eyes but followed after her. Juliet was wearing a long black dress and it was clear she had been crying a lot. She was still carrying the baby weight (as you would only three days after giving birth) but she still looked good. She turned to see me and managed a small smile. I tried my best to plaster one on as well, for her sake.

"Gus. You made it" she said.

"Yeah, well…" I said, trying to think of what Shawn said. Leave all negativity behind. "What's one birthday, right? Once a year I can be happy and act like nothing's wrong. For the kid, I mean. There'll be screaming children, but there'll also be cake. So I guess it all balances out." Juliet's smile almost instantly vanished and she looked at me so sadly.

"Gus…" she started, her voice gentle. "Where do you think we are?"

My smile slipped as reality set back in and I remembered what today is. The black colour of not only my suit but also Juliet's dress and just about everybody else's clothes finally made sense again. The tombstones around me finally registered and the church, only just at the top of the hill finally clocked in my head. The casket in front of me finally settled in my head and the crying faces finally made an appearance. And for the first time in a week, I let the memories of the crash flood my head and I let the tears stream down.

I made my way to the open casket and looked into it. I saw my best friend's broken, bruised and bloody body inside, suited up in his best suit. He looked so damn peaceful. He looked like he was simply sleeping, and I wish it was just that. On top of the casket was a photo of him, smiling like he always did. Like I always remembered him.

Shawn Spencer: 21st February, 1977 “ 27th September, 2013

I sat down in the front row on the very edge, desperate to keep my distance from Lassiter, Juliet and Henry. They were the strongest people I knew, and here they were. Breaking down into tears and crying their absolute hearts out. I couldn't help but cry along with them all, finally cry like I had wanted to do all those days ago. And so I let it all out. I cried like I had never cried before.

"Dude" Shawn said, standing right next to me. "Are you seriously crying at this?" he asked.

"I'm a sympathetic crier, Shawn" I retorted.

"It's not your fault, you know that, right?" Shawn asked me. "It's not like you were driving the bike. Or the car, for that matter. There was nothing you or I could do about it. The important thing is that the man that did this is behind bars. It's all right."

"Go away, Shawn" I finally said. "You're not making things easier." Shawn nodded once, and then he was gone. Just like that, he was gone and out of my life forever.

That car accident killed him. He died in the ambulance, on the way to the hospital. I survived and he died. I was lucky, and he wasn't. The funny thing is… Henry always said that that bike was going to be the death of him.

The End



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