So I had this realization in one of my recent fics.

Shawn knows so much about the legal system. What if he used his training to be the perfect cop to become the perfect criminal?

Hi ya'all! My second challenge ever!  Make a story using these quotes. You can use them however you want, just use 'em! Happy writing! XD

There is one small requirement for the story: MUST contain some form of Shawn whump. I don't care what you do to him. Electrocute him, flash flood him, lock him in an icebox, I don't care. I just want Shawn to be shamelessly whumped like we all want to do to him....otherwise, you all have free reign over the story.

Here are the quotes:

Posting a note on the victim's door that you are in the process of burglarizing their house does NOT make you're behavior righteous.

There was a reason politics paid well---it was damn boring.

Yeah, they were screwed up, but they complemented each other well in their dysfunction.

"I didn't get hit in the head. You kicked a door into it."

The things you learn about someone when you're locked in a basement storeroom together....

"Dodge the bubbles with teeth...right then. Shouldn't be too hard...should it?"

Funny thing about explosions. They kind of take you by surprise and don't follow any set schedule.

"Dude that's exactly it! It was a bad movie. A horrible movie.On such a level of suck that it was awesome! It takes a truly ingenious mind to reach that tier reserved for the truly great bad movies."

"Every internet geek worth their fedora knows that Washington is working with Mars bars to place nano-GPS devices in their candy wrappers to fulfill the original plan by the Martians to take over Earth."

"The big-name fast food franchises are secretly adding experimental mind-control nanotechnology into their burgers and french fries on the order of the Illuminati shadow leaders. The nanotech they used is so refined that it's safe from the cooking and digestive processes, and yet it's powerful enough to make any consumer an unwilling puppet to the larger scheme of things."

He couldn't catch a break, not even with the criminals. Was it so hard to believe that he would do something selfless and not have an ulterior motive for everything?

"I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they pass me by."

"There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "I" in PIE, and there is an "I" in MEATPIE, and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...."

"I'm a medic! Don't kill me! I'm useful!"

"I'm not dumb." "Then how dumb are you?"

"I'm gonna be late!" "You can't be late until you show up."

"I'm sure we'll be meeting our fair share of people with questionable mentalities soon enough."

The wolves would bare their fangs eventually.

"They're getting along like a house on fire."

"I think you need to come over here and argue with me, there's too much agreement."

"Have you ever had an addiction?" "Yeah, I was hooked on phonics once."

"Oh hell." "That's what we're trying to avoid actually."

"I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

"I'm sorry. I'll try to be more traumatized when it suits you're schedule."

"When it comes to the sea of love, I prefer buoys."

"I don't do package deals. Two-for-one. Someone always gets short-changed."

"This is the Snarktacular Lair of Stupendousness."

True coincidences are rare.

"The world is square! I have proof!"

"The good news? There's no more bad news."

"The bet was that you could break the plate using your killer ninja moves!" "Yes, and I used a special move called "throwing" to smash it against the wall. So I win." "You cheated!"

"You don't know where we are?" "We're somewhere between where we were and where we're going."  "We don't know where we're going." "Then why is it so important to know where we are?"

Yay, morphine.

Changing the toilet paper roll will NOT cause permanent brain damage.

A paraplegic gerbil could do the job better than you have!

"Sometimes, I amaze my self with my own stupidity."

"Great. Can my life ever be normal, or is that against the cosmic rules of the universe?"

"If that was an apology, I would love to hear your compliments."

"Would you STOP muting the TV?!" "It was on commercial, I was justified."

In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea.

It sounded like an invitation, except for the part where he actually got invited.

I think you'll find that I covered all the major food groups: protein, carbohydrates, starch, and pineapple.

"...And that's an attempt at humor, not brain damage."

"Ever had one of those days where you just want to hit something?" "Occasionally." "Well, I'm having one of those months."

It's nice to share your insanity with someone else who understands it.

"I enjoy sarcasm. So should you."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking, cause if you're thinking what I'm thinking that I think that your thinking I'm thinking, then we've got a problem?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a fruit loop."

Sometimes, life bashes you upside the head with a brick in a sock.

People who live in glass whorehouses shouldn't throw slut-rocks. In other words, don't be a hypocrite.