[Report This]Date: August 01, 2013 1:07 am Title: Gateway
Okay. Brilliant. I started tearing up at the end. This is good. Very good.
The gate is fascinating to me. I like the way you took a well-known concept---the choice between life and death---and put your own spin on it. You described it very well.
I find it interesting that you characterized Lassiter and Juliet's relationship as being father/daughter. I haven't seen that one before. It fits.
The only advice I can give you to improve this is, as I learned from Stephen King, to use fewer adverbs. :-)
Beautiful work, as always! :-)
Author's Response:
Haha, I see what you mean about the adverbs ;) I wrote this at 11 pm one night, so you've got to cut me some slack. :)
Thanks for your review!
[Report This]Date: May 13, 2013 10:41 pm Title: Unbreakable
Please please please oh please write a second part to this chapter. I am begging you. Write more of this!
I love the story premise. It's very original and it has a lot of potential. You write very well and I feel like you give Juliet a lot of depth and empathy. Fantastic job! You made my day.
[Report This]Date: May 13, 2013 10:35 pm Title: Making History
I enjoyed this chapter. It's cute and I loved the way Juliet wanted to take the remembrance to the grave. I felt like that had resonance. I also loved the way you pointed out that they don't quite fit in with the rest of the world. Lovely! :-)
Date: May 13, 2013 10:08 pm Title: Introductions
Very on-point with Lassiter's rules. Great characterization of Juliet and Buzz.
Shawn's crack about the green and blue crepe paper was brilliant, too! :-)
[Report This]Date: May 13, 2013 2:59 pm Title: Making History
Awwwh. Lassie and Juliet bonding! Those two are the best together, I love that they're such good friends!
[Report This]Date: May 13, 2013 2:51 pm Title: Introductions
"This is a police station, not daycare." Great line! It mad me laugh! Good job! I loved it!