Date: June 15, 2018 11:29 am Title: Chapter 1
ERSDTFGYHKDTRYY I LOVED IT :D
Buddy, this was AWESOME! Definitely one of your better stories as of now~ I love how you used Shawn's thinking to describe the beach while still keeping the story going, and omg, the sandball fights XDD That was perfect! Some of my favorite lines:
Shawn slicked back his hair, as if it would give him better aerodynamics.
As they broke the surface, Shawn took in large gasps of air as he tried to keep them both afloat. The other however didn’t seem to react at all to the change in breathing materials.
“Besides…” he grinned.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not a tattle telling goody two shoes!”
I love it all! X3 Poor Shawn feeling so guilty - but Gus straight-up lied to his parents to keep Shawn around, and that REALLY shows how much he cares about him, because Gus would NEVER do that! Also, the way you kept the conversation flowing was on point, girl ^^ Never once did I feel like something broke that flow~
Thanks for the awesome birthday present, I know I was kind of analytical about it and not-so-flail-y but that's just because it was so goooood XD
Author's Response: No no no, I LOVE the analyticalness XD I'M SOOOOO GLAD YOU LOVE IT EYYYYYY
I definitely feel like it's a better one of mine- it's definitely the longest one-shot I've ever written (which just helps to show how I've improved).
[Report This]Date: June 15, 2018 10:37 am Title: Chapter 1
Duuuuuuude!!! *flails* THIS FIC!
*ahem* So, this is TOTALLY them right from the get-go and I love it! lol "corneal abrasions” Hahaha
“You, Burton Guster, are a uptight, no fun, goody two-shoes and you know it! You never want to do anything because you’re always too afraid of getting hurt or in trouble! You never take any risks!” Awww poor baby Gus, this broke my heart. I know in a way, Shawn’s just pushing him out of his comfort zone, but still.
Neither of them thought it was possible for Gus’s jaw to drop as far down as it did. For some reason, this made me laugh. Nice mental image there!
“Well I guess you’ll just be known as Goody Two-Shoes Guster from now on…” *gasp* Is this the first instance of a Shawn Spencer nickname??
Okay, and the boys lining up on the beach is the best thing ever. LOL It’s so them!! And of course Shawn makes sure his dad isn’t there. Hahaha
Oh nooo they’re too faaarrr! I am nervous!
At this point he didn’t even care to win, as he had already made his point. Actually, no, that’s not true. He definitely still wanted to win. lol Of course. Even in the midst of realizing this maybe was a bad idea, he’s still got to beat Gus. (It’s okay, Shawn; that’s totally me, too. I feel ya.)
GUUUUUUUSSSSSS NOOOOO COME BAAAAAACK *WAILS*
Aww hero!Shawn to the rescue! I mean, I know it’s his fault in the first place, but still. Yay! Heroics!! And I love the mental image of tiny!Shawn saving his best friend like that. Ugh. My heart. *ded* Also, I do love how Shawn’s so subconsciously processing things already though. Keep the head above water. Focus. Get help. CPR. The poor boy makes bad decisions sometimes but he does remember what he’s learned when they go sideways - which I guess is when it counts.
Awww yay! Gus is back! *cries in relief* You set that up so well! We knew he was gonna be okay overall but it was still nerve-wracking!!!
And of course the Gusters don’t want Gus to be friends with Shawn. *sigh* See, Shawn, you do stuff this and then you wonder why…? Ugh but I’m so sad for the boyses! They’re best friends even after everything!
Mrs. Guster nodded before continuing. “I’m sorry for judging the situation too quickly.” She reached forward and pulled Shawn into a tight hug. “Thank you for saving Burton.”
Shawn gave his dad a look of confusion who just shrugged back.
She pulled back and met his eyes again. “Burton told us the whole story… That he was the one who dared you to swim out to the buoy, and about the current pulling him under until he couldn’t escape… I- If you hadn’t pulled him back to shore…”
“I never would have left Gus out there Mrs. G. He’s my best friend. I would do anything for him.” Shawn explained, uncomfortable with the praises he was receiving.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH GUS LIED TO HIS PARENTS BECAUSE HE KNEW THEY’D BE MAD AT SHAWN IF THEY KNEW THE TRUTH???? ALSKDJFKLASHDFKHASLF (PS, good thing Mrs. G didn’t walk in about ten seconds earlier lol Then Gus would really be in trouble, besides just the “no Shawn Spencer” rule)
Also that when it came down to it, they had each other’s back. Always.
He held out a fist and watched as Gus’s hand bumped his own.
Yes, everything was going to be alright.
AND THEN YOU ENDED IT WITH A FISTBUMP AAAAAAHHH IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE!!!!!!
Dude, I loved this so much. You’re a fantastic friend to write this for Koohii, and thank you for letting us read it because it was amazing. *glomps you*
Author's Response: Dude, this is by far the longest review I've ever received! Thank you so so so so much for your kind words. You make me smile with every comment you add :D I'm so glad you loved it! I'm also glad Koohii liked it, considering it was her plot bunny XD