Shawn sat down on the couch, his head in his hands, wondering what he should do next. This was so unlike him: indecisive, scared, and he was more than shocked at the vigor of his aversion toward his father. Gus walked over to him and put his hand on his best friend’s shoulder, only to have it shrugged off.

“Come on, Shawn,” Gus cooed, “it’s all okay. Your Dad’s gone. Just forget about it.”

“Forget about it?” retorted his broken friend, “Gus, the man just waltzes in here, shoves a picture of my mother in my face, telling me she’s really alive and is visiting, and you tell me to forget about it?”

“No, Shawn, that’s not what I mean. What I really mean is—well, I dunno, don’t let it get to you. Just try to stay cool until the time comes when you have to talk to them again.”

“Gus, you are so not helping me, man.” Shawn replied angrily as he stormed toward the door, snatched his helmet off the file cabinet, and proceeded outward toward his motorcycle.


It was a naturally beautiful Tuesday afternoon in the Santa Barbara County. The sky was a perfect light blue, which matched the lush greens and yellow undertones of the world around him. But for him, it didn’t matter. It was like the whole world was against him, smiling and happy, when he was definitely not. Shawn drove down the streets, past the beach, and into town when something caught his eye: the Santa Barbara Police Station.


The moment Shawn walked into the station, everything changed; his spirit lifted. He walked past the desk clerk, who was sitting back, amused by the people walking by.

“Mr. Spencer!” She called after him, to which he smoothly turned on his heels and walked back toward her.

“Hey you!” he greeted her with a smile. He looked around her desk to see what was happening in her life. That’s one thing he could thank his dad for: training him to take in every little detail around him. His eyes focused on something in the trash bin—a box of cigarettes. No—a full box of cigarettes!


Shawn put his fingers to his temples, jumped up and down a bit, and muttered gibberish into the air. “Wait!” he said, “I’m getting a vision! You’ve recently quit…quit…fire!” he shouted, which made everyone within hearing distance jump, “Aair…water…water…makes smoke. Smoke! You’ve quit smoking!” The desk clerk beamed and the others around him applauded him for his psychic “vision”.


“Shawn Spencer!” Exclaimed the desk clerk, “You never cease to amaze me!”


Shawn merely smiled and continued into the hall, into the main office room. There were eight desks organized throughout the room, all of them covered with papers. But one specifically caught his eye—the one in the middle. At this desk sat a young girl, maybe a few years younger than Shawn himself. She sat, leaned over her piles, writing as fast as she could. Her long blonde hair fell in her face, as she constantly pushed it aside. He looked closer: she was rubbing her neck; she must be aching. Shawn thought quickly and grabbed a rubber band from the top of some cop’s desk, wrapped it around his wrist, and walked briskly toward the center of the room.

“a-hem” Attempt number one. She didn’t look up, let alone take notice to his existence. She was completely consumed in her paperwork.

“a-HEM!” he tried again. She looked up. “Oh, hello! How are you, junior detective O’Hara?” He said with a small grin. Attempt number one was back in action: flirt shamelessly.

“Oh, his Shawn. Sorry, I’m a little busy today. The chief is out and I---”

“—was left with all the paperwork while she’s off at some police-like meeting?” He finished.

“Yeah,” she said, her head tilted sideways, trying to figure him out.


“Well then, I won’t take long then. I just came over for another case and then I’ll just pop out!”

“No way Shawn,” Replied Juliet, “You just solved two murders last week! Can’t that be enough for you?”

“Nope” he grinned a wide toothy grin, “it’s never enough. Otherwise, I have nothing to do. And when I have nothing to do, I get lonely. Very lonely.” He sat on the corner of her desk, his hand was covering whatever paperwork she was trying to fill out.

“You always have Gus.” She replied, clearly amused.

“I always have you.” He replied smoothly.

Juliet scoffed, grabbed a few papers, and walked toward another officer’s desk to swap them out for another, more tedious pile; Shawn at her heels.

“Please, please?” He begged. When she turned around to head back, he stepped in front of her, spreading his arms wide into the air, to make it look like he wouldn’t let her pass.

“No, Shawn” She said, shooting a sharp look at him, forcing him to put his hands down. She strode past him, her arms full of papers, when he noticed something: someone had spilled a whole mess of coffee behind her desk—right where she was headed. He moved faster than was easy to do in a crowded office, grabbed her by the waist, and ripped her to the side, forcing her to drop her piles of papers everywhere. Juliet grunted and shot a furious look at Shawn. As she bent down to pick up her papers, she noticed something: a hidden puddle of…coffee? Some of the papers were ruined, but for some odd reason, she wasn’t mad. She looked at Shawn, who was now struggling to pick up as many papers as possible before they all got wet.


When the papers were picked up, and he rushed to get paper towels to sop up the mess, Juliet sighed and gave up. She fished through her piles of papers and found a file folder—a small case for him to work on. She handed it over.

“Thanks Jules” he said, with a smile she couldn’t quite read. She sat down and let out an exasperated sigh. Then she attempted to push her hair behind her ears and get back to her mountain of paperwork; but to no avail. No sooner had she looked down at her papers, had she felt her hair gently tugged backwards. She was startled and looked up. Shawn put her hair up in a loose bun. Although she was a little shocked, she smiled and thanked him.


He walked around her desk, on his way back to the main entrance, and quickly grabbed something. Her eyes followed him curiously. Suddenly, he stopped, and swiftly turned around to face her, hiding the object behind his back. A mix of excitement and dread filled her body. He stopped a few feet short of her desk.

“Wait, I’m getting something.” He smiled and continued, “the spirits. They tell me you are in pain.” This could have been perfect if only his voice hadn’t cracked a bit. He moved closer to her desk, “they say…to give you a massage.” He said, almost in a whisper.


Juliet sat, open mouthed, bright red. “No Shawn, go home.” She said stiffly, not taking her eyes off of him. Shawn laughed and turned to walk out, still hiding his mysterious object, leaving Juliet completely flustered. He was almost completely out when he stopped at the clerk’s desk.

“Here,” he said, “Thanks for your Starbucks. Sorry some of it’s gone. I owe you.”

He smiled, winked at the clerk, and continued in his way out.

“Shawn,” she called him. Her voice kind and soft, soothing as it should be, “Shawn, sit down next to me.” And there Shawn sat, a tall, beautiful brunette wrapped her arms around him, pulling his head toward her lap. He didn’t refuse. She stroked his head and all was calm, and for a few moments, he was silent. Suddenly, she stopped. As he looked up, he noticed she started to fade. Everything was starting to fade. He finally stuck out his hand to reach for her, and she disappeared completely. Suddenly, he was falling. That empty feeling inside; he was falling.


His body jerked and he sat up in his bed, gasping for air. Shawn was not prone to nightmares, but he just couldn’t help it anymore. He looked out the window into the sunny Santa Barbara skies. His clock flashed 10:30.


After finishing off the last of his Fruity O’s, he played with the fun mood ring inside. Then he got dressed and slugged his way to his office: Psych Headquarters. Gus was waiting for him there, as this was his other job. Surely enough, Gus was there playing games on his computer.

“Hey, what’s up Gus?” he greeted his life long friend.

“Eh, not much. Oh, Juliet called.”

“Jules?” Shawn sat up in his seat, strangely excited, “What did she want?”

“Oh, she just wanted to know how that case was going.”

“Oh,” Shawn slumped down in his chair again, “Yeah, I finished that one, like, minutes after she gave it to me.”

“Oh really?” inquired Gus, who was raising one eyebrow and smirking.

“Dude! It’s so obvious! This guy was clearly having an affair with his secretary who threatened to tell his wife, so he killed her!” Shawn rolled his eyes at Gus, who laughed, but still didn’t take his eyes off the computer.

“So, should we call her back and tell her?” Asked Gus.

“Gus! No! I’m not getting paid to solve these crimes normally. I have to do is psychically! “ But Shawn just laughed and walked toward the door. “Maybe I’ll go pay ol’ Jules a visit and psychic up something special for the case.”

He beamed at the thought of Juliet’s expression. He snatched his helmet off the file cabinet and rushed toward the door. At the same moment, the door swung open and he walked straight into the person entering the office. It was an older woman. A bit shorter than Shawn himself, and her brown hair was clearly fading. She seemed strange, familiar—almost too familiar.



“Hello Shawn.”

Shawn didn’t sleep a wink all night. The horror of his past crept up on him every waking moment. He felt empty, being lied to for just about his entire life. And having had turned her away! Those words she uttered, “I want to talk to you, Shawn” “let’s sit down and talk sometime, Shawn” echoed through his head. He didn’t know what to do. Even Gus was frightened to see her alive, looking almost the same way when they were kids. Shawn just didn’t know what to do.


Shawn felt sapped of all his energy. Maybe some fresh air would clear his mind. Shawn dragged himself over to his bike. During the course of his ride into town, he almost crashed twice and hit three parked cars. Finally he turned into a familiar parking lot. His last hope to be cheered up was pretty risky. Of course, he’ll probably be yelled at and criticized by Detective Lassiter, Juliet’s uptight mentor, but if all worked, it would be worth it.


He walked down the hall, trying not to get too much attention. Luckily, the SBPD was basically empty, and Lassiter must have had the day off. Of course, as dedicated as Juliet is, she sat there doing her work. Her hair was pulled back into a bun the same way he had done a few days previously. He walked over to her desk, waited until she looked up, and smiled a bit.

“What do you want Shawn, I’m very busy today.” This stung. He was too exhausted to think of a witty reply or put on a psychic show, so he plopped down the case file on her desk with a pre-written note explaining the case. She looked up and smiled. “Good work.”


Shawn smiled and continued to stand there, as she aimed to complete her work. But something was wrong here. Where were all his wise cracks? His innuendos? She looked up to see him glancing around the office, looking more tired than she’d ever seen him. He swayed a bit. Enough was enough! Something was wrong! Juliet got up and took a chair from an empty desk and rolled it next to hers.


She bade him to sit down and wait until she finished. He was silent the whole time. Nothing worried her more. Eventually, she finished and told her boss, Chief Vick, that she’d be taking a lunch break. Possibly an extended lunch break. Vick glanced over at Juliet’s desk and noticed Shawn looking as somber as ever, so she authorized it.


They walked in silence, until they reached a small park. They sat down on a bench next to each other until finally Juliet turned to him and broke their silence.

“Okay, Shawn. What’s going on? Why are you all quiet today? Did you get in a fight with Gus again?” She said, almost too forcefully.

His head drooped a bit, but when he looked into her sparkling blue eyes, everything spilled out. His story was told uninterrupted except for a few gasps and quiet sobs of horror. He told her about his mom, and how he loved her, and how his father had lied to him for his entire life, and what it was like when she showed up at the office.

“I was horrified,” he admitted frighteningly honestly, “I didn’t know what to do. She said she’d only be in town for about a week, so I told her I’d think about it and get back to her.”


Now it was Juliet’s turn to be silent. She had no idea what to say, no advice she could give. She was frightened for him and wished she could do something. But at the same time, knew she could not. They were both thinking; about life, and what is the right thing to do. Eventually, Shawn cleared his throat and looked at his watch, which brought them both back to earth.


“Thanks for hearing me out. I feel so much better having gotten that off my chest. But I think you have to go back to work. I feel guilty for keeping you so long.”


Work. A word that Juliet hated all of a sudden. How could she even think of work at a time like this? As they were heading back, they made a lot of small talk. Juliet hated their silence, and she pointed out some things that made him laugh. Oh, how she loved his laugh. Nothing made her happier. They both returned to the station in a better mood than before. But as they reached the doors, once again, there was silence.


She must have looked up at the same time he was looking down, because they both blushed horribly. Suddenly, almost as if on impulse, she stepped forward, unsure of what her body was doing. He was scared too, but he leaned in as she stood on her toes and wrapped her arms gently around his shoulders. His arms wheeled around her waist as their lips softly met. They were both surprised, but neither of them dared break away from their embrace. Whether it was minutes or millenniums they were there, neither could tell.

It had been a few days since he had last seen Juliet. Shawn no longer had nightmares about his fading mother, but sweet dreams that featured nobody but Juliet. Shawn was sitting in his office chair, turning the little card, which his mother had given him the week previously, around in his hands. Gus was away for the week on business, even though he protested. Shawn still told him to go.

He finally got up his nerve. Shawn picked up the phone and slowly dialed the number written on the card. One ring…two rings…Shawn held his breath. On the third ring, a soft voice filled his ears.
“Hello?”
“m-mom?” he bit his lip, unsure whether he should have called her that or not.
“Shawn.” She breathed, and then sighed in relief. They were both nervous to talk to each other, but Shawn got up his nerve and entered the phone conversation.
“Shawn, I want to talk to you in person.” His mother demanded.
“Yeah, I know, I’ll meet you when I’m ready. How much longer are you staying?”
“Two more days.” He swallowed hard.
“I’ll meet you on Friday then.”
“Does that mean we can’t talk until then?” She pleaded.
“I guess not.”

They talked for two whole hours. She asked questions, he answered them, but they avoided the subject of why she left at all costs. The interrogation came to an end with one last question: “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Shawn waited for a second.. “Yes, “ he lied, “She works in the SBPD.”

For a second his mother was quiet, but then she added a bit more cheerfully, “Ah, I see. Ok, so you know where we’re meeting?”
“Yes”
“So I’ll see you there?”
“Yes”
“Ok, and you won’t forget?”
“YES!”
“Okay, bye Shawn.”
“Bye…” he said as he met her dial tone, “…mom.”
He pressed the off button on the phone and placed it gently down on the rocker. It was amazing how, when he talks to her, it’s like she never left. Everything seemed so casual. But when he thinks of her, all he imagines now is a total stranger. Shawn’s heart ached, he wished it were like before she left. But worst of all, he wished she had never come back.

He was also scared—scared to face his mother alone. Scared to face her at all, actually. He decided he needed someone else. Someone unbiased, who would stand there and hold his hand. But who would he take? His father? No, it is partially his fault this is all happening. Gus? Not a chance. He could drag him back from his business trip, but Gus would be feeling just as horribly as Shawn would. After all, as kids, she was like his mother as well. Then it dawned on him. He gulped and reached for the phone again.

Shawn picked up the phone and dialed her number. He had memorized every digit from the very beginning. She was definitely not at work, so he called her home phone, hoping she’d pick up. Shawn was lucky—she’d picked up her phone on the second ring.
“Hello?” came her soft voice which made his heart beat faster.
“Juliet?”
“Speaking, who is this?”
“It’s Shawn. Um, I wanted to ask a favor. I know it’s weird, but could I stop by for a minute? I have a question, but I wanna ask you in person.”
“Now? Shawn, now’s not really the time.” Her voice started to shake.
“Please? I promise I’ll make it quick.” He pleaded. She sighed and agreed. Whatever it was he wanted, she clearly would be unable to avoid it.
“Fine.” She gave up quickly, hoping to avoid as much chaos as possible.

Her doorbell rang and she looked through the peephole. There stood Shawn with a pineapple in hand. She opened the door and he rushed in, pushed the pineapple into her arms, and started pacing.
“What’s this for?” She questioned, looking at the pineapple.
“Oh, my mom taught me never to go over to someone else’s place without bringing them something.”
“Uh…huh.” She agreed, rather amused almost. Shawn was still pacing.
“Ok, Shawn. Spill. What’s going on?”
He stopped for a minute, almost like he was trying to pick out the right words to say.
“I’m meeting her day after tomorrow.”
“Your mom?”
“Yeah, I talked to her today, and we decided that we would meet tomorrow at that little café downtown next to Starbucks.”
“Okay…so what’s wrong with that? You’re obviously worried. Are you afraid of seeing her again?” Juliet was just trying to keep him from breaking down now. She saw what he’s like when he’s upset, and she didn’t like it. Interestingly enough, they had been there talking for almost 20 minutes, and he didn’t notice what she was wearing. When she got off the phone, she rushed out of her bubble bath and ran to get herself into something cute. She could be naked for all she cared and he still wouldn't notice. But all for nothing, it seems. He’s too distracted now.
“It’s not that.” He said, his back now pressed against the wall. “It’s just that I know if I go alone, it…it just won’t be good for me. It’ll probably end up either that I’ll break down, and there will be no way to get myself home, or I’ll be so angry that I’ll just get up and leave…” he looked at Juliet for the first time. Not at her body, but at her face, into her eyes. “…And I just can’t do that, Jules.”
“So what are you going to do then?”
“Well, I was kind of hoping…”
She raised her eyebrows, looking deep into his eyes.
“I was kind of hoping that you would go with me.”
“To do what?”
“To…um…to keep me there. Not let me go. To, well, to hold my hand.”
Juliet almost laughed, but held it in when she realized that he was in no way a position to be making jokes, let alone to be laughed at. She nodded gently and stood. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She could feel his heart beating, fast, faster than should be healthy, so she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. They were big and heavy, like they carried more weight than Shawn had on his shoulders right now. She smiled a bit, took hold of his hand, and squeezed it tightly. She realized what he needed right now. Not a girlfriend, but almost like…a mother. She wrapped her arms around him once again and rested her head on his shoulder, loving him, and protecting him, which echoed her passion for him in ways most people couldn’t understand. She decided: if he needed her, she would be there.

A knock came at the door. One knock. Two. Three. Juliet answered the door. There stood Shawn, for the first time, dressed completely opposite of his character. A light blue shirt, dark blue tie, and charcoal black suit. Juliet smiled to herself in pleasure at the fact that she was actually shocked to notice that he cleans up well.

"Hi!" She said enthusiastically. It almost seemed fake a bit, but Shawn clearly paid little notice.
"Hi Juliet. I appreciate you doing this for me." He looked up, and his eyes caught hers, causing him to look away, glancing around her apartment.
"You sure you want to do this?" She asked cautiously. His head was clearly not here, but she wanted to make sure that he wouldn't freak out on her on the way there. Anyways, she promised she'd go with him, and she herself was getting a little bit nervous as well.
"I'm sure" he replied, he walked over to the couch and sat down, sighing, shocked at how soft the pillows were, despite their appearance.
Juliet smiled and sat down next to him, causing him to sit up and look at her. Lately, everything he saw was a blur, but his eyes suddenly focused on something: Juliet's crystalline blue eyes. They sparkled in the light, and spread warmth throughout his body. "Jules" he said as he leaned onto her. He wrapped his arms around her and placed her head on the arm rest, lowering his face barely an inch from hers, his eyes connecting with hers. Her heart started pounding in her chest, self control could only hold her so long. His lips didn't move, but hers did. The moment they brushed his, his heart started to beat faster, and he sunk his mouth onto hers. She let out an inaudible sigh and moved her hands to either side of his face, adding to their passion.

They were both a little shocked at this strange feeling of urgency. For all intents and purposes, after today, Shawn's life would change. They both knew this, and originally dreaded the hour coming, but all fears and worries melted away with each kiss. Juliet looked up, removing her hands from his hair, and fixing her top. She glanced toward the clock and her heart sank. They had been their an hour already, even worse, they were going to be late! She held him by the shoulders and forced him off of her and upright, while she struggled to get herself off the couch and change into her outfit which she had spent so many hours preparing.

Juliet raced into her room, leaving Shawn dumbfounded on the couch. Crashes and thuds could be heard throughout the house as Juliet stumbled to get ready. Then there was silence. Shawn's heart stopped, worried that the last thump he heard may have been a little more convincing than it should have been. Moments later, a figure appeared at the door. There stood Juliet, breathless, (maybe for more than one reason?) and fully clothed, wearing a flattering yellow and green strapless dress, which reminded him faintly of something he loved.

He was slowly drawn to her, he moved his arms toward her face, taking her hair out of the messy bun it was in, letting it fall to her shoulders. He kissed her, completely entranced by her beauty. Her eyes stood out fantastically against the colors of her dress and her soft pink lips.
"Shawn, we have to go." She said, smiling sincerely. His heart fell, realizing what was ahead. She led him to the door, and walked out, leaving him to shut it. He was scared, and his grip tightened against the doorknob. The clarity Juliet had just given him was starting to fade away.
"Shawn?" she said, her hand gripping his arm."Shawn, let's go. We'll be late." She flashed him a look that made his mouth drop. He let go of the doorknob and took hold of her hand, following her into her car. His time was up, the more he seemed to dread it, the faster the car seemed to go. He wanted to turn back, but it was too late. They were going to talk to his mother.

They pulled into the parking lot of a café, a small one, but it was significantly full in comparison to the Starbucks next door. He got out of the car and looked at the woman standing next to him, smiling and weaving her arm with his. He peered around the corner, hiding himself and Juliet, searching for the woman who would both build and destroy his life at the same time. And there she sat, in the far corner, sitting patiently and sipping on an iced tea. Shawn started to feel dizzy, and he swooned toward Juliet who grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall. There would be no way she could hold his weight, and passing couples stared at the tough blonde in the strapless yellow dress shoving, rather forcefully, her well dressed boyfriend against the brick wall.
"Shawn" she hissed, not wanting to raise her voice. "Shawn, snap out of it, now's not the time to faint."
"I don't faint." He said, snapping back into his old self for a moment. "I just relax really well." Juliet beamed at him. Could he be back? But then he sighed and pouted, and Juliet's hopes were shot back down.
"Come on" she said, forcefully grabbing him by the arm and navigating her way though the busy café, and walking straight towards Shawn's mother. His heart started to pound faster. He was suddenly confronted with every emotion one could possibly feel: excitement, fear, hope, anger, and everything else in between. He only hoped that he would be able to keep himself in check[or rely on Juliet to do that] while he puts up with seeing his mother for the first time in years.
"Why, hello Shawn." Said the woman, getting up to gather him in her arms. He was a little startled, and just stood stiffly as the woman, whose head only went up to his shoulders, squeezed him tight. "and who might this be?" she continued, looking Juliet up and down.
"Juliet O'Hara. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Spencer" Juliet replied, flashing a brilliant smile.
"Ah, Juliet. Are you the Girlfriend Shawn has told me so much about?"
"Well, uh--" Juliet started, but when she saw Shawn nod hopefully behind his mother's back, she continued, "yes, I am."
"Oh, it's so nice to finally meet you. You're just as beautiful as Shawn described you. I feel like I already know you."
"Uh, you too, Mrs. Spencer." Juliet had no idea what to say, and Shawn's mother just laughed and gestured for them to sit down. Her hair was turning gray, but her eyes looked exactly like Shawn's. Juliet sat down and Shawn sat next to her, they both faced Shawn's mother.
"So tell me, Juliet, when did you two meet?" She questioned the girl, who was clearly nervous, being put on the spot. Didn't she just say that she knew all about them
"Well, he came here a little over two years ago, so we met at work, in the office during a briefing." She said, reaching over and taking Shawn's hand which rested in his lap.
"Ah, I see, and you two are happy?" Mrs. Spencer asked.
"Oh yes, we're very happy. I don't know what I would to without Shawn. He makes every day so special for me." At this Shawn snapped out of his daze, and looked up at Juliet, smiling and looking lovingly into his eyes. He felt a strange warmth swell in his stomach, and he couldn't help but smile. He wondered if that was what she really meant. It probably was, but right now, he couldn't be decisive about anything.
"Well, I hope you two are very happy together." Said his mother with a smile. This sunk in, Shawn looked up and could tell that his mother was serious. He somehow felt betrayed. How could his mother wish happiness which she took away so easily? After all, she was the reason he feared love so much. The reason he feared commitment. That internal fear that he could never escape--knowing that one day, they will leave. And he will be alone again. His face felt hot, his emotions were battling inside him. He squeezed Juliet's hand tight.
"Mom?" he said, almost afraid of the word.
"Yes Shawn?" She replied, shocked at the first words he had said to her since he had talked to her on the phone.
"Why did you leave?"

The café fell into a deafening silence. Or at least it seemed that way. He looked around; everyone else was smiling, laughing, talking, but he could hear nothing. All the members at the table fell silent, until his mother cleared her throat, sighed, and prepared to tell the story she had taken over twenty years to prepare.