Juliet sat against the headboard of her queen bed hugging her knees to her chest and quietly sobbing yet again. She had been doing this a lot since about a week before. She asked herself again and again how this could be happening. Of course, she knew how, in the sense that she knew the physical act that had put her and Shawn in this predicament. But what she really couldn't figure out was how she had been so irresponsible and careless to let this happen. She was a mature, responsible adult. This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to her.
Shawn and Juliet had been dating several weeks now, and with the exception of Gus and Henry they had successfully kept their relationship under wraps at the station. No one seemed to suspect that anything had changed between them. No one seemed to know that they spent most evenings and weekends in each other's company, or that they were at the point of spending the night at each other's places almost every night…or at least up until a week ago.
Juliet had been avoiding him, making up lame excuses for why she couldn't join him for dinner or why he couldn't spend the night. She hadn't been calling him to help with cases. She knew he was getting worried. She knew that turning him down and ignoring him was hurting him. But she just couldn't look at him anymore without thinking about it, and she wasn't ready to tell him yet. Even more so, she didn't think he was ready to hear it.
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ONE WEEK EARLIER
It was one of those days where nothing goes right. She slept through her alarm, burnt her toast, and spilled coffee on her blouse. When she finally arrived late to work, she realized she left her current case file at home and had to return to get it. To top it all off, her stomach was doing backflips all morning which she was certain had to do with the undercooked chicken she had been served the night before when she was out with Shawn.
"Buck up, O'Hara," said Lassiter. "Everybody has bad days, but you're a cop. Crime doesn't stop just because you're having a bad day. You have work to do."
"Thanks, Carlton," she said sarcastically. "I appreciate your sympathy."
"You're welcome," said Lassiter sincerely. "Now let's get on the road. We have a new case to get started on."
Juliet grabbed her things and followed Lassiter to his vehicle. "Carlton, do you think we can stop at Starbucks on the way. I'm starving," she asked while walking to the car.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," he said. "I guess I could use a cup of Joe."
Juliet was relieved Carlton didn't put up a fight. Having lost most of her coffee on her shirt and not being able to eat her charred toast, she had nothing in her stomach, and now that it had stopped churning she was ravenously hungry. As soon as she returned to the car with a blueberry muffin in her hand, she gobbled it down frantically. Carlton looked on in astonishment as she did so.
"Wow, you were really hungry," he stated.
"No shit, Carlton! That's what I said," Juliet snapped.
Lassiter was taken aback and slightly angered with her attitude. "What's up with you, O'Hara!" he demanded.
"I'm just in a bad mood today," Juliet grumbled.
"More like every day," argued Carlton.
"What are you talking about?" said Juliet offended. "I'm almost always in a good mood!"
"Not lately! You've been snapping at me left and right for at least the past several days."
"No I haven't…," Juliet said. She didn't recollect being in a snippy mood at all over the past several days…but maybe she just hadn't noticed. After Carlton pointed out a number of examples, she had to admit she must have been quite an annoyance recently. She didn't know how she hadn't noticed.
"So what is it?" Carlton asked with a caring tone. "Do you have a cramp in your neck?"
"No."
"Did you forget to take your Prozac?"
"I don't take medications, Carlton."
"Did you have a bad date?"
"Um…no." She swallowed nervously like she did every time the subject of her dating habits came up. She didn't want to accidentally mention Shawn.
"Is it…you know…that time of the month?"
"No! Carlton, please stop talking," Juliet begged. "I don't need your help. Leave it to Carlton to ask an awkward question about my period," she thought. "Maybe he's not far off though…." Juliet lost herself in her thoughts whileCarlton changed the subject to the case at hand. He told her that it was the scene of a potential homicide. A middle-aged gentleman had been found dead and bloodied at his apartment.
"So, when we get there, pay attention to…" Carlton was interrupted by his partner
"Carlton, what day is it?"
"It's Thursday."
"No, I mean what's the date."
"The 24th. Why?"
"Um…no reason." Juliet felt dizzy and her stomach started to swirl again.
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They finally arrived at the scene. Unexpectedly, though it should have been expected, Shawn and Gus were already there. Shawn was already standing in front of the apartment building with a hand to his head and a vision causing him to scramble towards the front door, despite a number of officers pulling him back, and an apologetic Gus. Normally Juliet would have found his behavior amusing, but right now it just seemed annoying. She wasn't in the mood to face him right now. She wished he would mind his own business, just for once.
"Dammit, Spencer! Stop your ridiculous antics before I have to put an end to it myself! Shouted Carlton.
Shawn ignored him, but knowing that Carlton Lassiter's presence indicated that his girlfriend had also just arrived, he stopped mid-vision to smile at her and say "Hello Jules."
Juliet, who normally would discreetly return the hello and smile, looked in every direction but at Shawn. Shawn looked noticeably surprised and disappointed at her reaction, but she couldn't have anyone revealing their secret right now. Her gaze flittered to Carlton to see if he noticed their awkward exchange. He didn't seem to be paying attention to them at the moment, but Gus was and his expression was puzzled. Both she and Carlton brushed past the psychic, his side-kick, and the crowd of officers toward the second floor apartment. Without permission, Shawn and Gus followed.
The scene was horrific. The victim clearly had been stabbed in the stomach and was lying in a pool of blood. Juliet felt her recently eaten muffin rising up her esophagus. She raised her hand to her mouth and gagged before excusing herself from the apartment. Shawn, whose eyes hadn't left his girlfriend since their uncharacteristic exchange, followed her. She leaned against the wall and put her head down to try to ease the nausea.
"Jules, you ok?" Shawn asked sympathetically and carefully since Juliet had been acting like he was guilty of something that he couldn't remember. "I…I…I've never seen you leave a crime scene like that before."
Juliet continued to look at the floor, afraid to look into Shawn's eyes as if he would somehow psychically sense what she thought was going on with herself right now…and she didn't want him to know…at least not yet. "Shawn. I'll be fine. Just go back in there."
"Jules, you don't look fine. I just want to help," he said.
"I'll be fine, just please go away," she begged. "I'll be back in there in a few minutes."
Shawn looked a bit hurt before he pressed on. "Juliet, I don't understand….It…It's my job to…"
"Just go!" she shouted. She looked up briefly, just long enough to see the hurt in his eyes. She tried to fix the situation by adding, "…before Lassiter gets suspicious," but Shawn's expression didn't budge. He nodded sadly and went back inside.
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By the time they got back to the station later that afternoon, Juliet was feeling better but she was still avoiding Shawn. Shawn and Gus wandered to Juliet's desk, and Juliet startled at the sight of them. It made her want to get up and run. Instead she stopped what she was writing in her case-file and just stared at Shawn, mouth hanging open, suddenly seeing him in a different light. If her suspicions were correct, their fun and fresh relationship was going to be in for a major overhaul. Like it or not, the "Shawn and Juliet" that she knew would be over. Their relationship was going to change, and she didn't know if it would be for better or for worse.
"Jules?" Shawn asked. He was confused as to why she had stopped and was just staring at him. He looked himself over and felt his hair. "Did I spill barbecue sauce on my shirt? Is my hair out of place? Gus, do I have spinach in my teeth?!" he exclaimed while turning to his friend, pulling his mouth open with his fingers to show his teeth, and bringing his head closer to Gus.
Gus backed away. "You didn't even eat spinach today, Shawn!" he said.
"Shawn, you look fine. I'm sorry. I just…didn't expect you here," said Juliet trying to cover the nerves in her voice.
"Just 'fine'?" he asked. "And since when do you NOT expect me to visit you at your desk? I'm here all the time."
"Unfortunately," added Lassiter who was just making his way towards them.
"I'm sorry, Shawn. You look…great," she said with a soft smile, trying to find an innocuous enough word that wouldn't make Carlton suspicious of their relationship. She was trying to figure out a believable excuse for Shawn's second question, when Lassiter attempted an answer for her.
"O'Hara had a bad day and isn't feeling well, so I suspect she just wasn't prepared to see your ugly mug right now."
Shawn looked confusedly at the coffee mug he was holding in his hands. "This one? It's not so ugly." He held it next to his face and imitated the smile of the sweet teddy bear in a cop's hat that was printed in the side. "It's kind of cute actually."
Lassiter grunted in annoyance and walked away.
"You're not feeling well?" Shawn said softly and followed it up with a pout of his lower lip. Gus imitated the pout.
"I'm fine now, Shawn. I had an upset stomach, but it was probably just something I ate," she lied. "You don't have to worry."
"You sure?" he asked gently and she nodded. Juliet got to absent-mindedly rearranging some papers on her desk and avoided Shawn's gaze. He noticed her anxious behavior. Heck, it was so obvious, Gus even noticed it, and suddenly aware that his friend needed a private moment with her, mumbled that he was going to get a snack from the vending machines and slunk away.
Shawn moved closer so he could whisper and put a gentle hand on his girlfriend's back. "Are you absolutely sure everything is ok, sweetheart?"
"Yes, Shawn. I said I'm fine," Juliet responded more harshly than she intended and tensed under his touch. She felt guilty for thinking it, but she really just hoped he would go away for the moment.
Shawn pulled away, unsettled over her odd behavior. She had never really spoken to him that way before today, and now she had done it twice. He hesitated first and then asked, "Do…do you want to grab some lunch with me and Gus?"
"Uh…no. Not today," she mumbled without looking him straight in the eye.
"Ok, well…can I pick anything up for you?" he asked carefully
"Shawn, no! Can you please just leave me alone?" said Juliet without looking away from her work. She thought she saw some hurt in his face from a sideways glance though. "I just have a lot of work to do today. We can go tomorrow," she said. She gave him one of their secret hand squeezes from behind her desk that they always shared when they parted at the station in hopes that it would assure him that they were fine. However, he walked away more silently than usual and maybe even sadly, and Juliet sighed heavily.
As soon as he was out of sight, she checked her watch. She had thirty minutes until her meeting with the Chief. She scooped up her purse and headed out the other side of the station and towards the convenience store on the corner. She just had to be sure before she could face anyone or anything else.
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Twenty minutes later she stood at the counter in the woman's restroom. Everything around her was blurry except for the tiny red plus-sign on the pregnancy test she held in her hand. "This isn't happening," she thought. "I am going to wake up now and it will all be a dream." She closed her eyes tight and opened them again to find it wasn't a dream. She was still staring at herself in the bathroom mirror with a positive pregnancy test in her hand. Her head tilted back and her eyes looked at the ceiling while she desperately tried to hold in the sobs that were building inside her.
"What have I gotten myself into?" she whispered to herself. She loved Shawn, but their relationship was still new. It wasn't ready for this kind of complication. They had never even discussed their long term future, let alone whether they wanted to have children together. She wasn't sure if Shawn was even father material or if he even wanted to be one. Hell, she hadn't even decided whether she wanted to be a mother…. "A mother?" She looked at her reflection in the eyes and whispered, "Juliet O'Hara. You are going to be a mom."
Suddenly the restroom door swung open and Juliet had been caught red-faced and with tear-filled eyes. She frantically tried to hide the pregnancy test behind her back, but it was too late. Chief Vick was standing in the doorway, her mouth agape.
"O'Hara?" she questioned, approaching her subordinate and peeking at the white stick behind her back. "Is that a…?"
Juliet nodded while letting a small sob escape.
"Positive?" Karen guessed from the panic on Juliet's face.
Juliet nodded again and put her hand to her mouth while her shoulders shook with muffled sobs. Instinctually Karen wrapped her arms around Juliet in a tight hug. "Oh sweetie, everything is going to be fine. It's going to be ok."
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As soon as her sobs had diminished, Karen instructed Juliet to come to her office. Juliet took a seat and put her teary face in her hands while Karen closed all of the blinds to give them some privacy.
"Oh God! You probably think I am the most irresponsible person in this station right now," Juliet cried.
"I have to admit," said Karen taking her seat, "that this is not a common issue that a Chief of Police has to deal with. However, I suspect that has more to do with the fact that 90% of police officers are male and less with how responsible you are. O'Hara, you know that this happens to a lot of women."
"Yeah. I just didn't think that it would happen to me."
"Juliet, I don't know your situation and frankly, as your boss, it's none of my business. But, I didn't bring you to my office just now as your boss. I brought you here because you are obviously in distress and I know you could use a frien….fellow woman right now. You don't have to tell me anything, but I'm here if you want to talk."
"Thanks Chief," said Juliet. "I guess I'm just still kind of in shock right now. My head is just swimming with everything from what is going to happen to my body over the next nine months, to how I am going to raise a child with….my job, and how I am going to tell Sh…the father -." She nearly revealed the inter-office relationship that she had been keeping from the Chief and felt the need to stifle herself.
"I understand. At the very least I can tell you that you don't have to worry about your job. Of course you will have to take a leave from field work during your pregnancy – that is, if you are keeping it?" corrected Karen, not wanting to assume anything. Juliet nodded to confirm. There was no question for her. No matter what, she would keep her child. "…Your position will be here when you get back," Karen continued. "As for everything else…first, remember that I've been through this before. I'm always here for whatever questions you have. And second…I don't know anything about the father, but I'm guessing from your reaction that you have some qualms about him. Just know that you will not be doing this all on your own." Juliet nodded in understanding. "Um…Juliet, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but…woman to woman, I wondered if I could ask. Who is the father?"
"Oh God!" Juliet bellowed and Karen repeated that she should feel no obligation to answer the question. "No. It's ok," said Juliet. "Just…promise not to get mad."
"Mad? Why would I -?"
"Promise?"
"I promise," Vick said hesitantly, unsure of what she was really promising.
Juliet took a deep breath. "The father is…Shawn." She looked shamefully at her feet
Karen sat stone still with a disbelieving look then stuttered, "Shawn? ...As in, Shawn Spencer, Shawn?"
Juliet nodded and shrugged awkwardly.
"As in…our own Psychic Detective Shawn Spencer?" Karen asked for further confirmation.
Juliet nodded again. "Yes. Please don't be mad Chief! We've been dating a little over two months now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We just…"
Karen put up her hand to stop Juliet's rambling. "It's ok." Juliet was both relieved and surprised with Karen's response. "It's fine, O'Hara…I mean, obviously this complicates things…and there's that pesky inter-office dating policy to worry about…but I promise you everything will work out." The Chief paused and contemplated what was in store for the future of the SBPD…and the world in general. She wasn't sure whether to be pleased or worried… "Another Spencer? Yikes."
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"Gus…? Did Jules seem off to you at all?" Shawn asked his friend as they were returning to the bullpen for the de-briefing.
"Now that you mention it, she did seem a litter snippier than usual, but why are you asking me? You know her much better than I do," Gus answered.
"Yeah, but I've never seen her like this before. Do you think she's mad at me for something? What do you think I did?"
Gus forced himself to refrain from saying any of Shawn's many recent shenanigans that might have made Juliet upset. "I don't know. Maybe you didn't do anything. Maybe she's just on her period right now."
"Nooo." Shawn shook his head. "When she's on her period she whistles The Backstreet Boys and adds some Milky Ways to her chocolate stash. Plus, we did it last night, so I think I would have noticed."
Gus cringed. Shawn was often too willing to overshare when it came to his and Juliet's sex life, and he didn't want to risk hearing any more. "Ok. Whatever Shawn. I'm sure if you just give her some space, she'll cool off," he said.
They entered the bullpen to see the bulletin board as usual filled with information and crime scene photos. Officers were gathering around and pulling up chairs. Shawn leaned on a post in the back of the crowd and Gus stood next to him, crossing his arms across his chest. In the front Juliet handed a laser pointer to Carlton.
"What? You're not going to fight with me over doing the de-briefing?" he whispered to her.
"No. I'm not in the mood today. You do it," she answered. She stepped to the side as Carlton tested out the laser, coughed, and got ready for his speech. Juliet noticed Shawn staring at her and momentarily caught his eyes before immediately shifting her attention to straightening her pant suit.
Detective Lassiter began the de-briefing, using the photos on the board to point out how the crime scene had been found and the circumstances surrounding Mr. Youngton's life in the days before his death. "The leading theory at this point is that Mr. Youngton stabbed himself, effectively committing suicide," he said.
Shawn scoffed, knowing that the suicide theory was crap.
"…the argument being," continued Lassiter, "that he had just recently lost custody of his children to his ex-wife -" Shawn scoffed and chuckled. "Did you have something to say, Mr. Spencer?!" Lassiter grunted. Juliet sighed and rolled her eyes.
"It's just…That can't be right. Youngton wouldn't kill himself over losing his kids," Shawn stated as if it should be totally obvious. He remembered seeing the man's apartment, completely devoid of photos of his children. There was no sign he even had children, in fact, aside from a crude drawing and a crayon- addressed envelope to "Daddy" that was resting in his trash. "The guy didn't even like his kids." Eyes blinked around him, clearly unaware of how he knew this. As usual, Shawn filled the silence. "And for good reason. Kids are noisy, and sticky. They cry, and puke, and pee in their beds, and almost always get to use the restroom first when there's only one restroom and everyone has to go-"
"Ok. We get it!" interrupted Lassiter. Juliet swallowed hard. Did Shawn really hate children? "If you had just waited I would have finished explaining that I believe that Mr. Youngton did not commit suicide. He was killed. Lassiter went on to explain a sketchy encounter Youngton shared with a trampy looking woman that a neighbor had witnessed, and claimed that Youngton had likely been killed by this mysterious woman.
By the end of the de-briefing they had decided on a course of action and Lassiter had entrusted to Juliet the task of finding out who the woman was and anything about her that might suggest she had motive to murder Mr. Youngton. "Sure thing," she said quickly before trying to duck away unseen by Shawn while the crowd of officers were moving about enough to conceal her efforts. It was to no avail, though. She had hardly taken a few steps before he appeared in front of her as if by magic. She slumped her shoulders and shook her head in exasperation. "Shawn, do you even know what the phrase 'leave me alone' means?" she said smartly.
"I…I was just worried about you," he said.
Juliet sighed. She didn't like that she was being rude to him. He hadn't even done anything to her. Well…not really. She thought of pulling him aside and telling him, but the thought of how he would react stopped her. "Shawn, do you really feel that way about children?" she asked as innocently as she could. She prayed that he would say no, that he had only been rambling earlier.
"I…well…not exactly," he began pulling at the back of his hair nervously. "But you gotta admit, kids are kind of…dirty…and loud," he chuckled.
Juliet stared at him lividly. "Really? Well you're one to talk!" she said angrily. She started to storm away, desperate to get his face out of her sight.
"Jules, what do you mean by that?!" He was taken aback by her sudden outrage. "What is going on with you today? Please just talk to me," he said while catching up to her, turning her around and grabbing her by both arms.
She wrestled free of his grasp. "You tell me, psychic!" She didn't say anything else but stormed to her desk, grabbed her things, and left the station.
Gus, who had been hiding behind a post, slunk out and looked apprehensively at Shawn. He had apparently seen everything.
"What was that?" Shawn asked Gus, who shrugged. "Oh my god! Do you think she…knows?" Shawn realized.
"Knows what?" asked Gus.
"Jesus Christ, Gus! Keep up! Do you think she knows…my secret?" he whispered so that no-one else in the station could hear.
"Oooh," said Gus. "That would be bad."
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Ok, so I absolutely love writing about Shules becoming parents. When I was writing my "Better than Pugs" series I had so many ideas for how it could go and wrote several of them down. But ultimately, I had to choose just one. Well now I've decided to take the ones I've written, and maybe some ideas I haven't yet written, and mold them into short stories. So this book is dedicated to short stories surrounding Shawn and Juliet having babies. They'll be set in different universes and at different points in their relationship. There may be some drama here and there, but I'm a big fan of happy endings, so nothing too sad…probably not. Even through the most depressing period of my life, I haven't been able to write a sad story, and I hope that never changes.
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Ok, so I absolutely love writing about Shules becoming parents. When I was writing my "Better than Pugs" series I had so many ideas for how it could go and wrote several of them down. But ultimately, I had to choose just one. Well now I've decided to take the ones I've written, and maybe some ideas I haven't yet written, and mold them into short stories. So this book is dedicated to short stories surrounding Shawn and Juliet having babies. They'll be set in different universes and at different points in their relationship. There may be some drama here and there, but I'm a big fan of happy endings, so nothing too sad…probably not. Even through the most depressing period of my life, I haven't been able to write a sad story, and I hope that never changes.
Author's Chapter Notes:
So, this is one I wrote a while ago but never posted. It's mostly written except for the ending. It's also kind of long, so I'll be posting it in parts. The first part, as it is, is longer than any chapter I've posted!
This is set in season five, shortly after Shawn and Juliet started dating and before anyone (aside from Gus) knew about their relationship. It also occurs at a time when Juliet still believes that Shawn is a psychic. I find it interesting how their reactions to shocking news early in their relationship would be so much different than when their relationship has progressed to marriage. In case you haven't guessed, this story is much more angsty than the previous one.
This is set in season five, shortly after Shawn and Juliet started dating and before anyone (aside from Gus) knew about their relationship. It also occurs at a time when Juliet still believes that Shawn is a psychic. I find it interesting how their reactions to shocking news early in their relationship would be so much different than when their relationship has progressed to marriage. In case you haven't guessed, this story is much more angsty than the previous one.
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