CLOSER TO THE EDGE

Chapter four-the first sign

Lassiter turned to O’Hara.

“Get her into the ladies’ room,” he barked. “Then call an ambulance for her.”

“No,” Jo croaked out shakily. “No ambulance please.”

“Jo,” O’Hara protested in surprise. “You need one! You need to go to the hospital.”

“No,” Jo snapped suddenly startling them all. “Please no.” she added in a softer tone.

Lassiter and O’Hara exchanged worried looks before Lassiter sighed, relenting.

“Fine,” he grunted. “But let O’Hara help clean you up. O’Hara grab the old pair of sweat pants and sweatshirt from the overnight bag.”

O’Hara nodded before hurrying out of the precinct to grab the clothes from the back of the car. Shawn crouched down beside Ingrid, who was sitting in a chair in front of Lassiter’s desk. She was hugging herself and shaking. Officers threw her worried and concerned looks as they passed. Shawn gently reached up and touched her arm.

“What happened dudette?” he asked her in a quiet tone.

“It-It was my fault,” Jo stammered. “I think I upset Johnathan somehow. I don’t know or understand. He threw me across the bed and…and…” her voice trailed off as she felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

Collective understanding noises went around.

“What a jerk,” Gus said angrily.

“Gus let’s be reasonable buddy,” Shawn said glancing up at his best friend. “The guys a douche. Flat out. And I’m guessing these are from that moment?” Shawn said motioning to the scratches on her inner thigh. Jo couldn’t tell them that Johnathan threatened to kill Lassiter, Shawn and Gus…everyone whom she cared about if she told them the real reason why he did what he did to her. She couldn’t believe it herself to be honest. It was like something out a science fiction novel or something.

At that moment she felt someone crouching down beside her left side this time at her elbow. She jumped a mile a moment but it was only Lassiter.

Lassiter gently took her chin between his thumb and index finger and turned her face toward him so he could assess the damage. She saw anger and rage flare in his ice blue eyes, but then something strange. Tenderness and compassion. She felt his thumb ever so gently trace over her cut lip. She winced and he quickly let go.

“Where is he, Miss Matthews,” Lassiter asked in a quiet dangerous tone.

“I-I can’t tell you,” Jo stammered as the tears flowed freely now.  At that moment O’Hara had returned with the sweat pants and sweatshirt from Lassiter’s overnight bag.

“Miss Matthews,” Lassiter said in a forced patient tone. “He did this to you,” he said staring into her eyes. “He has to be stopped. Do you know he has been arrested for assault, rape and has violent tendencies? He’s a part of this organization called the Autonox’s. They’re some radical group who are sadists. If you know where he is we have to stop him and arrest him before he does this to someone else.”

Jo began crying harder. If she told them where he was, he would hunt down Lassiter, and the others and kill them without so much as a blink. She couldn’t. No matter what happened to her, she couldn’t tell him.

“I’m sorry I can’t tell you, detective Lassiter. I just can’t. Please…don’t make me.” She pleaded.

Lassiter’s expression darkened.

“He threatened you didn’t he?” he guessed slamming a fist down on his desk. “With what?”

“Don’t make me…” Jo said.

“Lassie, I don’t think she can buddy,” Shawn said suddenly.

“Spencer, zip it,” Lassiter spat at him. “This monster does this to her. Why is she protecting him? He need to be brought to justice!”

“He threatened to kill you all!” Jo spat out in hysterical tears. “Okay? He threatened to kill all of you if I told him where he was! Don’t make me do it!”

Shawn and Gus were silent as was O’Hara.

“Come on Ingrid,” O’Hara said finally. “Let’s get you cleaned up sweetie.”

She gently helped Ingrid to her feet and toward the ladies room. Jo could feel Lassiter’s eyes on her back the entire time.

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Lassiter rose to his feet and kicked the leg of his desk.

“Buddy,” Spencer began slowly. “She doesn’t want to tell you because she’s concerned about our lives. He threatened her.”

“I know,” Lassiter growled. “But we have to find him regardless. He has to pay for what he’s done to her.”

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Jo breathed a sigh as she wiped some of the dried blood that had caked on her upper lip. O’Hara had helped her change into a pair of Lassiter’s over-night clothes: a pair of sweatpants and a college sweatshirt. While the sweat shirt was a little big and hung a little off her shoulder, she felt warm and secure. She caught a faint whiff of his cologne on the collar of the shirt. She quickly gathered her hair in a hasty bun. Some of the shorter strands hung down against her cheek but she felt a bit better. Still badly shaken and the tremors were still coming sporadically, but she was feeling a little more herself.

“I can’t imagine what you must feel,” O’Hara said to her warmly as she gathered up Jo’s clothes and put them into an evidence baggie. Her expression was warm and compassionate and Jo felt the corners of her mouth turning up. So far this female detective was close to what she considered a good friend. Something she hadn’t had in a long time.

“Thanks,” Jo said softly. “I just hope Lassiter understands why I can’t tell him.” Jo said biting her bottom lip. “If I do you are all in grave danger.”

O’Hara gave her a hug.

“I’m sure he does sweetie,” she said softly. “But he’s a criminal and needs to be stopped. He broke the law. Don’t worry about us we can handle ourselves.”

Jo looked at her and saw the sincerity and honesty in her eyes and took a deep breath.

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Jo followed behind O’Hara as they headed back out onto the bullpen floor. She saw Detective Lassiter look up. He had his hands on his hips and when his eyes landed on her, she saw him flinch, but also anger and disdain filter across his face.

“She told me,” O’Hara said breathlessly as she stood in front of her partner. “Where he is.”

“Let’s go,” Lassiter growled angrily. “Call Spencer and Guster too. They can meet us at the location.”

“What about me?” Jo asked in a small voice.

“You’re coming but you will remain in the car,” he responded.

Jo nodded as O’Hara quickly filled Lassiter in and they headed out.

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Sitting in the back of the navy blue Ford Crown Victoria, Jo looked out the window as Lassiter, O’Hara, Shawn and Gus, along with a bunch of officers with their guns drawn, began making their way toward the house. They had blue Kevlar vests on over their uniforms. She was anxiously biting her bottom lip. She prayed that no harm would come to them. Her heart was racing a mile a minute in her chest, thumping against her ribcage and drumming in her ears. She was worried for her friends. She knew that O’Hara was right, that he needed to be brought to justice for what he did, but at the same time she didn’t want him hurting them.

Suddenly, she heard pops ring out from the house. She saw Lassiter bark orders and they dove behind some old scraps that littered the front lawn. Shawn and Gus dove behind the blueberry and was peering over the front hood. Lassiter and the officer’s fired back. Glass was shattering; bullets ricocheted against the cars creating bullet holes. She heard Lassiter shouting and the loud humming of bullets.   She felt a sudden sharp sting in her chest and a warm wet sensation spreading across her shirt. Jo looked down and saw a red blood stain spreading quickly over the front where her heart was. A small hole was in the window where she was sitting.

She saw the man that had kidnapped her and Lassiter crouched in the window looking smug. Lassiter had fired at him and he went down. Then, she saw Shawn and Gus look toward her. She shakily grabbed the door handle and pushed open her door and staggered out. She dropped to her knees as she saw Lassiter rushing over.  He dropped to his knees in front of her and gently took her face between his hands. O’Hara was standing behind him. She looked upset and tears were glistening in her eyes. Shawn and Gus looked just as shaken and sick. Jo kept her eyes on Lassiter’s. He was speaking but there was a loud ringing in her ears. The ringing in her ears grew louder as darkness began encroaching on her vision. She slumped forward into Lassiter’s arms before the blackness over took her.

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Jo’s eyes snapped open and she sucked in a sharp intake of breath. She was sitting in a restaurant this time.  She caught her reflection. Still the same. She looked down. She was dressed in a cute soft blue eye let dress. Around her neck was a small golden heart locket. She raised a hand to her ears and felt small diamond stud earrings in her ears.  But what caught her eye and made her heart race, was the diamond wedding ring on her left hand. Some of her hair was pulled back and fastened with a barrette. She looked around the restaurant. No one seemed to be paying much attention to her. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and a soft kiss planted on her cheek. She jumped a mile and when the figure slid into the booth across from her, her heart rate continued to jump. Lassiter.

“Hey,” he said to her scrutinizing her carefully. “Are you alright Ingrid? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Jo’s eyes landed to Lassiter’s left hand. A matching solid gold band was on his index finger. Jo cleared her throat.

“I’m-I’m fine,” she stammered. “Why are we here?”

She tried her best to sound casual and light.

Lassiter frowned.

“You called me here. Said you wanted to talk about the divorce. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” he asked her tilting his head to the side.

“D-Divorce?” she said her eyes widening. “We’re married?”

Jo’s heart fluttered a bit. She had to admit the idea of marrying the cantankerous detective was something she didn’t mind. Frankly, she felt safe around him and secure. Could she be starting to like him?

Something flashed across Lassiter’s face. Sadness, regret and pain along with a bit of a blush in his cheeks. He shook his head.

“No,” he said clearing his throat and adjusting the knot in his tie at the base of his throat. “You married someone whom after a year and a half of marriage, cheated on you. You found out and were really angry and hurt so you are in the process of divorce. Your 7 year old daughter should be here any moment.”

Jo’s heart froze in her chest. She had a daughter? What happened? The last thing she remembered was being in the car and being shot in the chest. Lassiter studied her.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Before she could respond, she heard footsteps running up the aisle and a pair of small arms wrapped around her.

“Mommy!” a soft voice squealed happily. Jo turned and spied an adorable girl with shoulder length blond hair and green eyes. She was dressed in a pair of overalls and a plaid shirt underneath. Her hair was pulled into two braided pigtails. She had soft rosy pink cheeks and lips. A woman, which Jo guessed was a nanny, smiled and waved at her at the entrance to the restaurant before turning around and leaving.

“Hey Emily,” Lassiter said to her.

“Lassie,” She said and quickly turned to him, throwing her arms around him and hugging him. He shyly returned the hug with one arm, but Jo could see he adored her. He wasn’t showing it.

Emily hugged him again and then slid onto the seat next to him. Jo cleared her throat.

“Ingrid,” Lassiter began quietly. “I…I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Jo asked him curiously.

“I should’ve realized you weren’t happy and I should’ve been there for you,” he grunted.

His ice blue eyes regarded her carefully. “I got so wrapped up with my own wedding and cases. I had no idea what you were going through.” He looked destroyed and guilty.

Jo tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.  She bit down on her bottom lip.

“It’s fine,” she said quietly. “I-I think I probably should’ve told you how I felt all along.” She admitted as she gathered her purse and slid out of the booth. She gently took Emily’s hand and they stood at the front of the table. Lassiter was watching her curiously and with confusion.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

Jo’s hand gently gave Emily’s hand a squeeze as she felt tears forming in her eyes. She knew that she liked him. There was no doubt about it. From the first moment she’d met him. She felt connected with him. Even during that bar vision she had.

Jo felt a tear escape and streak down a cheek.

“I like you detective,” she said in a hurried tone. “I’ve always liked you.”

With that she turned, and headed out of the restaurant with Emily right by her side.

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Several days later, Jo had dropped Emily off at school. She had gotten a call from Shawn and Gus to meet at the precinct. She quickly drove there and headed into the building.

The bullpen was the same. It was as if nothing changed. She spied them standing by Lassiter’s desk. Shawn, Gus, Henry and O’Hara. They looked the same. It was weird. The only difference was that apparently she and Lassiter were married…just not to each other.

“Hey Ingrid,” Shawn said waving at her eagerly. “How’s Ems doing?”

“Fine,” she responded. “What’s going on?”

“There’s been some weird things going on,” O’Hara said to her. “Some things that we can’t explain. We’re going to one of the locations right now.”

Jo nodded.

She could feel Lassiter’s eyes on her the entire time. Shawn and Gus offered to take her in the blueberry. Lassiter and O’Hara headed out too.

On the way, Gus glanced into the rear view mirror at her.

“You okay Ingrid?” he asked in a worried tone. “You seem preoccupied.”

“I’m fine,” she responded looking out the window.

“She likes Lassie,” Shawn interjected. “I can see it.”

Jo’s head snapped up and she looked at Shawn.

“You should tell him,” Shawn continued.

“Shawn, its complicated,” Gus interjected reprovingly. “Lassie’s married and Ingrid’s getting divorced. It’s a complicated situation.”

Shawn made a ‘tsk’ noise. Jo fell silent. So they could see right through her then. Was she that transparent about how she felt?

She was snapped from her thoughts when the car began slowing down and they stopped by the Crown Victoria. They climbed out and stood. In the midst of the park, was a glowing orb that seemed to touch everything in its path and change it. The park looked like it was from the 40s wherever the orb touched. It was like it was changing things and bringing the past to the present.

“What on earth is going on?” O’Hara mused wide-eyed.

“I have no idea,” Lassiter grunted. “Miss Harris do you have any idea?” he turned to Jo waiting for her to respond

Jo was momentarily taken aback. Harris? Oh right.

“Um, no,” Jo stammered clearing her throat. “No idea.  Why are you asking me?”

Lassiter’s muscle twitched in his jaw as he took a steady breath.

“Well you are the head of the FBI’s division of unsolvable crimes and occurrences,” He said narrowing his eyes. “I would hope you would have some idea.”

Whoa X-Files moment there. Jo thought as she took a few breaths.

“Right. Um, no I don’t know,” she said shaking her head feigning she knew what they were talking about.

Lassiter just frowned.  Jo wrung her hands anxiously. What the hell was going on here?

Within a few moments, the orb vanished, but the artifacts remained behind. People were looking around, confused and startled, whispering to one another about what they thought was going on. Jo’s mind was on overload right now. She pulled Shawn aside and launched into what was happening to her.

“So,” Shawn said slowly. “You think that you’re reliving past lives or something?”

“No,” Jo whispered shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s it anymore. I think it’s like I die and then ‘pop’ I’m somewhere in time. I don’t know it’s like I’m trying to get something right.”

Gus nodded in understanding.

“Shawn remember the 10 deaths of Ian Stone? I think it’s like that,”

“Please help me,” Jo whispered glancing at Lassiter. “Lassiter will think I’m flipping my lid or something. Please keep this between us for now until I figure out what’s going on here.”

“Sure,” Shawn said nodding. Gus followed suit and nodded also.

“Well let’s go,” Lassiter grunted. “I don’t know why we were called here in the first place.”

Shawn got her address to her house for her and Jo pulled up to a large two story colonial house.  It was really extravagant. A arc driveway in front and rose bushes hugged the front of the house under the windows. A large backyard spread out a few acres in the rear. She was stunned for a moment before she reached into her purse and pulled out her keys. She stepped inside.

“Hello?” she called uncertainly as she closed the door behind her.

“Mommy” she heard Emily’s excited cry and sure enough she came running toward Jo and hugged her waist. The same woman she’d seen at the restaurant peeked her head out from the kitchen doorway.

“Oh hi there Mrs. Harris. Emily has had her dinner and she’s all set,” she said softly. “Good night and I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

She gently grabbed Emily’s chin and gave it a gentle affectionate squeeze before exiting the house. Left alone with Emily, Jo flopped onto the couch and ran her hands over her face as the events of the day ran through her mind. Emily sat down next to her.

“Mommy can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Jo said turning to the little girl.

“Why isn’t Lassie my daddy?”

This question really threw Jo for a loop. She swallowed.

“It’s complicated sweetie,” Jo responded quietly. “I can’t really explain it.”

“But he likes you,” Emily protested. “I can see it…and you like him right?”

Jo was quiet. She was certainly perceptive but she shut her eyes.

“Yes but honey I can’t talk about it now,” Jo said shaking her head. “Why don’t you get ready for bed okay?”

“Kay,” Emily said as she hugged Jo tightly before bounding up the stairs.

Jo followed suit and went into her room. She changed into a pair of sweat pants and a white tank top. She flopped face down on the bed. Within moments, she was fast asleep.

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Jo blinked a few times as she watched Emily playing in the park with the other children. Today was her day off. Shawn and Gus had gone off to do some research for her to find out what exactly was going on. Apparently, they had no recollection of the first time they’d done it and Gus came up with the past lives theory. So it seemed whenever Jo died, their memory was wiped clean of anything else except that moment. It was complicated to explain.

She was dressed in a red plaid skirt that reached her knees and a white poplin blouse. On her head was a red plaid women’s fedora hat with a silver belt around the brim. She was lost in her own thoughts and didn’t even realize someone had sat down beside her until she felt the soft material of a suit jacket sleeve rub against her arm. Jumping, she turned around to see Lassiter sitting there. He was dressed in a silver suit and tie which really brought out his ice blue eyes and handsome features. Jo mentally smacked herself and turned her attention back onto Emily who was playing tag with a few boys and girls having a great time.

“Can we talk?” Lassiter grunted in a quiet tone.

“Sure,” Jo said shrugging a shoulder. “What about?”

Jo crossed her legs and placed her hands on her knees.

She felt Lassiter place an arm behind her on the bench and lean in. Her heart was racing in her chest at this point but she refused to look at him.

“Ingrid,” he said in the same quiet tone. “Look at me.”

“Just spit it out what you want to say, detective. I’m watching my daughter play,” Jo said.

She felt bad for being blunt like this and okay, yeah a little bitchy, but…

She felt him take her chin and turn her head toward him, forcing her to look at him.

“I heard what you said,” he said quietly. “About liking me. I-I…” his voice trailed off as he grunted in annoyance. “I’m not good with this stuff…but I’ve always cared for you. A lot. I-I like you too but it’s too late now to do anything about it.” He looked remorseful and guilty. “I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Are you happy?” Jo whispered fighting back tears.

Lassiter was also fighting an emotion and he nodded once

“Yes,”

But there was something in his expression that told her he really wasn’t. It was as if he didn’t believe his own words.

“Well that’s all that matters,” Jo said gently tearing her chin from his grasp. “I’m glad. At least one of us is.”

Lassiter looked like he was being tortured. She figured it must be hard for him to admit his feelings openly like this.

Then, in a move that both startled her and shocked her, Lassiter leaned in more and placed a hand on the side of her face, and leaned in. He gently pressed his lips against hers, kissing her softly and gently. She returned the kiss after the shock wore off. When they both pulled back, they were breathless. Lassiter pressed his forehead against hers, keeping the hand on the side of her face.

Then, the moment shattered. He pulled back, clearly embarrassed about what he’d done.

“I’m sorry,” He grunted. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s fine,” Jo whispered biting her bottom lip, still tasting his lips on hers.

A gentle breeze caught his tie and flapped it over his shoulder. Emily suddenly cried out and Jo was on her feet rushing over. Emily was sitting on the ground, clutching her arm and sobbing.

Jo dropped to her knees in front of Emily and gently took her shoulders. Lassiter was right beside her watching Emily with anxiousness.

“What happened?” Jo cried sweeping some of Emily’s blond hair behind her ear.

“Some man pushed me down,” Emily sobbed. “He shoved me hard and I think I broke my arm.”

“Did he say anything?” Lassiter asked her.

“He said that my mommy was in trouble and that he was going to make her pay,” Emily sobbed turning her eyes onto Lassiter. “You’re not going to let that happen right?”

“No. Of course not,” Lassiter said softly as he gently touched Emily’s arm. “What did he look like? Can you tell me?”

Emily described him and Jo’s heart sank. It was Johnathan Ross, or whatever his name was. The same guy that that claimed to have been her ‘boyfriend’ and then assaulted her. He was working for that organization, some radical group. She remembered him, but she wasn’t sure Lassiter would. But oddly, he knew what Emily was talking about.

“Johnathan Ross,” Lassiter hissed under his breath. “Yeah he’s known around and wanted in a big way. Now he assaulted your child but for what reason?”

Jo bit her lip as Lassiter pulled out his phone. He called O’Hara and filled her in on what was going on. Then he phoned the ER a head of time and gently picked up Emily in his arms. He had one arm under her knees and the other was behind her back supporting her. She was still sobbing as she put her head against his shoulder.

“Come on let’s get her to the ER,” he grunted. Jo hurriedly obliged and followed suit.

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Sitting in the ER while the doctor set Emily’s arm, Jo was pacing back and forth. Emily let out a sharp cry of pain when he set it and that went through Jo.  She flinched, not wanting to hear the little girl in pain. She had requested Lassiter to stay with her which was okay with Jo. At that moment, Shawn and Gus came hurrying over to her. O’Hara too. She was carrying a small teddy bear for Emily. Jo’s heart warmed at the sight. Jo showed O’Hara where her partner was and she heard O’Hara talking to Emily.

“Dudette,” Shawn said pulling Jo aside out of ear shot of the others. “Gus thinks he might’ve solved what is going on with you.”

“Really?” Jo said wide-eyed. “Cause I swear I’m freaking going crazy right now.”

“No,” Gus said shaking his head. “There have been reports of what you’re going through over the centuries. The first time you said you were someone named Jo, and then Stella right? (Jo nodded) that was definitely some kind of reincarnation thing there. This is like fate resetting itself. Meaning each time you die, time resets itself so you can correct whatever mistake you made…or its trying to get you to go in one direction.”

“And what direction would that be?” Jo whispered glancing from Shawn to Gus. “Crazy town?”

“No,” Gus said shaking his head. “It’s something else.”

“We can’t figure that part out,” Shawn said glancing up over Jo’s shoulder in the direction of Lassiter, O’Hara and Emily. “But what we can figure out is it has to do with Lassie. That much is certain.”

All three of them turned around and spied Emily hugging Lassiter with her one good arm. The other arm was in a sling which was around her neck. Emily was hugging him tightly, her cheek pressing against his midsection. Lassiter looked a little shy and embarrassed but he snaked his arms around her shoulders gently and squeezed her. He caught them watching him and he put on a disdainful expression but it was mixed with the tender expression toward Emily.

Somehow, Jo had an inkling that Shawn was right about one thing. It definitely had something to do with Lassiter.