Karen put down her pen and shut the folder she had previously been writing in. The Yin case was requiring much more paperwork than she’d originally thought and as someone who just wanted to put the whole ordeal behind her- for the sake of herself and her entire department- it was frustrating.
Taking a look through her office windows, she noticed Detective Lassiter strutting across the station. Despite having given those involved mandatory days off, he had returned to work a few days prior and she had decided not to protest, knowing that for him, working was a form of coping. She watched as he made his way to the entrance, her eyes falling on the woman who he was clearly going over to talk to.
Detective Juliet O’Hara.
Her youngest detective hadn’t been to the station since the incident, which meant that Karen hadn’t seen her either. She had stopped by Juliet’s house once, her famous lasagna in hand, knowing that the woman probably didn’t feel like cooking, only to be greeted by Lassiter at the door. It was a bit odd to see her head detective in jeans but neither of them had acknowledged it. Lassiter had thanked her for the food, mentioned that O’Hara was okay and currently napping, and that had been the end of that.
Now, as Karen watched Juliet walk across the station being led by Lassiter, dressed in her typical pantsuit and a crisp blue shirt, she took the opportunity to examine the detective. Juliet turned and gave a curt nod as she passed by the office and Karen noted the deep bags underneath her eyes that were attempting to be masked by concealer. Aside from that, the young blonde appeared in good spirits even smiling at McNab as he greeted her. She watched the pair disappear down the stairs towards the interrogation rooms before giving her head a shake to refocus her attention and returning to her paperwork.
That didn’t stop her, however, from being aware of her surroundings. After a few minutes, Lassiter walked up the stairs, grabbed a cup of coffee and something from Juliet’s desk drawer, and headed back downstairs. A short while later and he was back at his desk, working on reports and sipping from his own mug.
Ten minutes later and Karen glared at her now empty coffee mug. Yes, three cups of coffee were really coming back to bite her. Pushing away from her desk, she strolled past Lassiter’s desk- giving him a nod which he returned- and into the bathroom.
Immediately her cop and mother's senses seemed to go off and Karen froze, having only taken a few steps into the bathroom, listening carefully. She observed that the farthest stall door was shut and, as she approached it, she could just make out the sounds of frantic breathing. Cautiously, she crouched down and glanced under the stall.
Sitting against the furthest wall was the bottom half of Juliet O’Hara, her gray pantsuit and killer heels giving herself away.
Straightening up Karen knocked at the door, her voice crisp and commanding. “O’Hara? Are you okay in there?”
She was not met with any reply, just the continued sound of increased breathing, and Karen’s stomach tightened, a hundred horrible scenarios running through her head.
After only a moment’s hesitation, she spoke again, this time her voice was softer. “I’m coming in.”
Against all fear of being labeled a pervert, she sighed and lay down on her stomach, slipping under the stall. Grimacing, she did her best to not think about all the possible things that had been on the bathroom floor. Once on the other side, she stood up and brushed off her pantsuit before looking at the detective.
Juliet was sitting on the floor wedged between the toilet and the wall. Her eyes were wide and unmoving, though a few tears did drip from them, running down her face and taking her carefully applied makeup with them. Hands were clenched onto her pants, so tight her knuckles were turning white and her shoulders rose and fell at irregular intervals.
Recognizing all of the signs of a panic attack, Karen’s training kicked into overdrive and she dropped to her knees in front of the woman, being careful not to crowd her.
“O’Hara. Hey O’Hara, can you hear me?” She tried, using her voice reserved for small children and her daughter, but Juliet showed no signs of even knowing she was here.
“O’Hara, I want to help you, I really do but I have to know that you can hear me.”
Again, no response.
“Juliet. Look at me.” Her voice slipped into a mix of caring and commanding as she resisted the urge to reach out and touch her, knowing that could only make it worse.
“Juliet.”
Finally, blue eyes met her brown ones and even though Juliet’s position remained the same, Karen let out a deep breath and smiled slightly, hope returning.
“Juliet, I’m going to help you, okay?” Juliet’s nod was so slight but Karen caught it, never taking her eyes off of the woman.
“Okay, just do what I do. Breath in,” Karen took a deep breath in and held it for a couple of seconds before letting it out, “Breath out. Now do it with me.”
“Breath in.” She breathed in again and relaxed ever so slightly as she noticed Juliet copying her. “Breath out.”
They continued this several more times until Juliet started visibly relaxing, her grip on her pants easing as she leaned heavily against the wall. After a few more seconds, she glanced down at her hands before glancing at her boss.
“Thank you.” She muttered out finally and Karen smiled softly, twisting to lean against the wall, her feet tucked under herself.
“Are you okay?” Karen asked, observing her detective, who was now playing nervously with her hands.
“I think so.”
“You know, you’re going to have to go to a medical professional to get checked out, just in case.”
Juliet nodded, it was typical procedure when it came to panic attacks as she had witnessed a couple of times on the job. “I know.”
“Is this your first time?”
She shook her head. “No. I had one when I was on the…” She waved her hand loosely and Karen nodded. “And another one a few days ago.”
After a few seconds of silence, she muttered out, “I thought I could do this.”
Karen raised an eyebrow but didn’t speak, silently encouraging her to continue.
“I thought I could come into the station and give my statement. It seemed easy enough. But the second I walked in, it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I told Lassiter I would be alright, that he didn’t need to sit with me and I thought I would be. But then my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.” She ducked her head, her voice now barely above a whisper. “I broke the coffee mug he gave me.”
Karen just now noticed the faint stain of coffee splashes that speckled across the bottom of her pants leg.
“He brought me my stress ball which was sweet,” She admitted, “I only use it when I’m doing paperwork or something where I can’t use both hands to dismantle my gun...”
She paused briefly before continuing. “I couldn’t do it though. I started thinking about that night and I just… couldn’t stop. Next thing I knew I was here.” Her voice hitched. “What do you do when you can’t even come into your own work?”
After a second of hesitation, Karen reached out her hand to lay it on Juliet’s. She had never seen the young woman look so vulnerable before and her heart broke. It would be a lie to say she didn’t value her youngest detective. Juliet was an amazing cop and she always admired how she managed to keep her spirits up despite the nature of her job. Plus she had always secretly viewed her as a mentee of sorts.
Giving her hand a squeeze Karen looked at Juliet, her voice back to that odd but soothing mix of professional and caring. “O’Hara, what happened to you was horrible and I would never wish that on you, or anyone, ever. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
She paused, thinking for a minute. “And while it would be unfortunate to not have you around the station anymore, might I recommend taking a stress leave? It’s not uncommon for officers when they go through something…” She trailed off trying to locate the right words, “traumatic, to take a short leave of absence. You can get paid and have something to occupy your time without having to worry about coming into the station. I can put in your temporary transfer today, I hear they have a nice opening at City Hall.”
Juliet stared at her, her face unreadable for a moment before a slight smile tugged at her lips. “That actually sounds great, thank you Chief.”
“Great.” Karen nodded, slipping back into her normal professionalism and rising to her feet. “I will make up the paperwork as soon as possible. If you would like, you can clean off your desk today. Also, don’t worry about giving your statement now, you can give it to Detective Lassiter, when you’re ready and not at the station.”
“Thank you, Chief,” Juliet repeated, slowly standing up. “For everything.”
But before Karen could leave, she found a small pair of arms wrapping around her waist as Juliet hugged her. Smiling, Karen returned the hug before stepping apart and clearing her throat. “I hope your leave goes well Detective.”
That evening, after the proper paperwork had been filled out and submitted, Karen dropped off a manila folder along with a salad container big enough for two servings at Juliet’s house. This time Juliet did answer the door, dressed in the pinkest pajamas Karen had ever seen, and she could just make out Lassiter moving around in the kitchen.
Juliet took both items with a weak smile, thanking the Chief, and promising to return to work soon enough. Karen told her to take her time and that along with the transfer acceptance letter, she had included a few business cards of local high rated therapists, recommending that it may be good for Juliet to check them out. The young woman had agreed and gave yet another thank you before heading back inside.
As Karen walked away, a faint smile pulled at her lips. Okay, so maybe the Yin case would take a few more days to be closed but to her, it was worth it. Her detective’s well being came before any case and if she could do her part to make sure one of their own was in good health, then by gosh she would travel across the globe to make that happen.
Author's Chapter Notes:
On the psych discord, we were talking about post Yin head canons and also Karen and Juliet's relationship and thus this was born.
Warning for panic attacks.
Warning for panic attacks.
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